Whenever I think of Nicki Minaj, I automatically picture the black version of Rapunzel with a weave so long, my nieces could play Double Dutch from opposite ends of the street. And with her ass so overly inflated, I’m surprised she hasn’t floated far, far away to dine with Shrek, Fiona and Donkey yet. In other words, she’s saying “go away now I’m tired of you.”
Well, Nicki has other plans, by touching and teasing us with rumors of her alleged romance with OG rap God and fellow Queens native, Nas. A few weeks ago Nicki posted this photo to her Instagram page.
Well why the hell she go and do that? Is it because her post made the world’s eyes widen in anticipation to find out what the hell is really going on? Are they friends? Are they lovers? Is Nas just trying to ram his Queensbridge into her pink print? (It’s the last one y’all, but we’ll continue anyway.)
XXL mentioned Nicki’s recent appearance on everyone’s favorite nosy friend Ellen Degeneres’ talk show where Ellen, armed with her legendary arsenal of making bitches spill more tea than an English grandmother with Parkinson’s, used a picture of Nicki dressed in clearance rack Lil’ Kim drag at a show during Paris fashion week back in March to basically ask her, “So, you and Nas fuckin’ yet?”. After letting out a sound that could only be described as Attention Whore’s Delight, Nicki blabbed some words:
“He’s so dope…he’s such a king. Shout out to Queens, New York, we’re both from Queens. He’s the king of Queens, and I’d like to think I’m the queen of Queens. He’s a rap legend, and I have a lot of respect for that. And he’s kinda cute too.”
Mmm hmm. Nice try at deflection, Miss Fix-A-Flat Ass! Your attempt at being coy may have been enough to please a public access TV host, but Ellen is the Grand Dame of “Bitch you gonna say more today!” She then asked Nicki if she and Nas have had any sleepovers yet.
“We have! Yup. I go to (his house)… I just thought him coming to me was too forward. Let me clarify, we didn’t do the… the nasty. No, because I’m just chilling right now, I’m celibate. I wanted to go a year without dating any men, I hate men. But I might make an exception to the rule for him.”
Oh, Nicki. Allow me to peek into my crystal ball and predict how the rest of this year is going to unfold for you; Nas is gonna fuck you. A lot. Go trade your chastity belt in at the nearest pawn shop for whips and handcuffs, because I’m sure Nas got super turned out during his marriage to ex-wife Kelis. And if her milkshakes brought all the boys to the yard, then yours better be so good that they cure blindness AND cancer.
You can check out Nicki’s giddy school girl theatrics with Ellen, below.