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May 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Turtle Tots!

Today is World Turtle Day, and while Ramon Singer celebrates the day by having Turtle Time all day long (read: getting Pinot Grigio drunk, but what else is new?) and others celebrate by sending Mitch McConnell a gift basket of grasshoppers and wet lettuce, I’m honoring the day by paying tribute to the other turtle toys of the 1980s. As those attention whores in a half-shell named Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles got all of the shine in the 1980s, the Turtle Tots were quietly sitting on toy shelves.

Ghost of the Doll says that Mattel started selling the Turtle Tots in 1988. They were turtle plush toys with eyebrows like a unicorn’s pube patch and they came in all of the pastel colors of the 80s rainbow. Because a pastel turtle toy wasn’t weird enough for the 80s, they were also babies and wore bonnets, diapers and had their own bottle. There were several of them and they had names like rich country-club going trust fund girls (Tootles, Torry, Trista, Tutu, etc…).

So, happy World Turtle Day to the Turtle Tots! They’ll always be the premiere turtle toys of the 1980s to me (no, they won’t, but don’t tell them that).

Pic: Ghost of the Doll

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