Earlier this month, bewigged reality television goodtime gal Kim Zolciak lowered the “cool mom” archetype to new depths by publicly offering her daughter’s oral favors so her son Kash could meet John Legend. Yes, that’s right. So THE SON could meet John Legend. It was 20-year-old Brielle Biermann who would have been strapping on the knee pads in exchange for goods and services for SOMEONE ELSE. Kim’s not exactly the most feminist pimp around, huh? John’s wife Chrissy Teigen saved Brielle from her human-trafficking mother by saying that there was no need for beej. The Zolciak-Biermann clan made it backstage to meet John without anyone having to spit or swallow. Heartwarming.
Once pictures were taken and autographs were given, Kim, Chrissy and poor Brielle had the following exchange on Snapchat. Strap yourself down, because this might make your body try to cringe itself off whatever you’re sitting on. I don’t want you to get hurt. From E!:
Kim posted on her Snapchat a video of her and her family sitting in their seats at Chastain Park Amphitheatre with Teigen.
“Shall we say if Brielle blew people?” the model asks.
“She didn’t have to blow anybody,” Kim replied, as Teigen bursts out laughing. “It’s so f–king amazing!”
“Hey guys,” Brielle said, smiling.”
That should be “Brielle said, grimacing.” Oh, Brielle. Someone give Brielle a hug. You know Brielle has to endure her mother’s combination love/insane jealousy each and every day. Her mom humiliating her in such a gruesome way is some Joan Crawford-level (Not from Feud, but the insane one from Mommie Dearest that we all prefer) parenting.
By the way, that’s supposed to be Kim in the upper right of that pic? Wow, she had more than work done. She obviously went to some sort of genetics laboratory and had them rewrite her DNA. Or did she hire a stand-in? We’re going to need to see some ID, Kim.