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The Talking Mother Goose!

Worlds of Wonder, the masterminds of creepy talking toys who terrorized the world with Teddy Ruxpin, unleashed another animatronic animal on the world when they released The Talking Mother Goose in 1986. Just like Teddy Ruxpin and Worlds of Wonder’s nightmare-inducing talking girl doll Julie, The Talking Mother Goose came to life with help from batteries and special cassette tapes with stories on them. Although I’m sure that even when her batteries were dead and she didn’t have any cassettes in her body, she still came alive in the middle of the night, waddled over to the sleeping children and slowly sucked pieces of their soul out!!!!!

But mostly The Talking Mother Goose read fairy tales, like Rapunzel and Cinderella, in a British accent. I didn’t have a Talking Mother Goose and none of my friends did either, but judging by this commercial, all living things were mesmerized by her story-reading skills. The Talking Mother Goose lured children into the woods (which isn’t creepy at all) and brought humans and woodland creatures together. And if any of them acted a fool (you know that shifty dog tried to catch a squirrel), I’m sure she ripped a branch off of one of those trees and threatened to whoop them all with her switch. She is a mother after all.

I should’ve searched eBay and bought a Talking Mother Goose for my mom for Mother’s Day. It would’ve been a great gift and she’d love it. Because whenever I bother her while she’s trying to watch Dr. Oz, she could turn on Talking Mother Goose and I’d be so hypnotized by it that I’d finally leave her alone.

And Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers. May today be a day when you don’t have to pull a chancleta on a brat.

Pic: Listia