American Idol: Does Nothing Ever Truly Stay Dead?

Because we apparently haven’t had our fill of fame-hungry singers degrading themselves for irritating “judges” who’ve slipped down a rung (or two) on the celebrity relevancy ladder, American Idol is most likely coming back. The only way this would have any sparkle for me is if Paula Abdul left this summer’s NKOTB tour and got her crazy ass back to the judge’s table.

But ABC, who beat out FOX for the Idol deal (FOX’s “insane” offer wasn’t enough, apparently) probably isn’t thoughtful like that. This is the network that canceled All My Children and One Life To Live, so they obviously have little to no idea what they’re doing. (I miss you so much, Erica Kane and Victoria Lord Buchanan!) Suffice to say, we’ll need to totally avoid network television on Sundays beginning in March. via Variety:

According to sources, the Alphabet is eyeing a March premiere for the show, which would potentially air on Sunday nights, where ABC has struggled in recent seasons against NBC’s “Sunday Night Football” and programming on Fox and CBS that benefits from a strong NFL lead-in. The Alphabet is the only broadcaster of the Big Four that does not have an NFL package.

And who do they want as the host? The hardest working blandness in the biz – Ryan Seacrest! TMZ says that ABC reportedly wants Ryan to return to the hosting gig that inspired greedy, robotic bores everywhere made him famous. Wait, wasn’t Ryan just announced as Kelly Ripa’s newest punching bag? Yes, which means that Ryan Seacrest IS a replicant and a blade runner should immediately hunt him down and retire him.

Sources involved in the deal tell us … the co-owners of the show, Fremantle and Core, along with ABC, want Ryan Seacrest to host the show. As we reported, the show will be filmed in Hollywood and Ryan would have to make 2 round trip coast-to-coast flights in as many days to shoot the show each week.

The Ken doll’s little brother doesn’t quit for a moment. I understand the “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” thing, but he’s taken it a little far. Is he burying himself in work to avoid some sort of heartache? Does he really need more money? You would think he grew up in a shantytown, with very little shoes and only a Dolly Parton-esque coat of many colors to wear, with the insane amount of million dollar jobs this guy takes on.

Pic: WENN