Mission: Impossible 6 doesn’t come out until July 2018 and I haven’t seen one second of Vanessa Kirby’s acting in it, but I’m already pushing for her to win an Oscar in 2019. I mean, in the kissing scene that was shot yesterday in Paris, Vanessa truly had to struggle for her craft while holding in her breath to keep herself from inhaling the bullshit fumes that constantly waft out of Tom Cruise’s mouth. Tommy also deserves some credit. It must’ve been very weird for him to have a nose touch his face. He’s not used to noses touching his face. He’s used to the noses of Scientologists shoving into his butt cleft as they lick on his royal Scientolohole.
Vanessa Kirby from The Crown is one of the female leads in M:I 6, which is filming right now, so course there were rumors that 54-year-old Tommy wants to make 29-year-old Vanessa his next Robo-Beard Bride. That rumor popped up again this week when the paparazzi just so happened to take pictures of Vanessa and Tommy kissing on each other while filming a scene. One of Gossip Cop’s sources say that they’re not dating.
I totally believe Gossip Cop’s sources. Vanessa and Tommy aren’t dating, because Tommy doesn’t date! He auditions and interviews, thankyouverymuch. Sure Tommy may ask Vanessa out to dinner, but when she gets to the “restaurant,” she’ll find the place empty and the overhead lights turned on. The only thing sitting at her place at the table will be an e-meter, and as a Scientology auditor asks her to spit out her deepest and darkest secrets, Tommy will gently stroke her head. No, he won’t stroke her head to make her feel more comfortable. He’ll be looking to see how soft her skull is because Scientology doctors will need to get in there to install a tracking device.
And that first picture in the gallery of Vanessa crouching down while gazing up at Tommy like the tall (in his head) Emperor of Scientology that he is… Tommy probably loved that and will now do whatever it takes to get Vanessa to sign her name on a relationship contract. Ruuuun while you still can, Vanessa!