Last October we all found out that Michael Douglas has a big mouth, which is great for Catherine Zeta-Jones’ cooze (even though all that snatch eating gave him cancer), but bad for Val Kilmer. During an event called An Evening with Michael Douglas in London, Michael told the audience that the reason why we haven’t really heard from Val Kilmer is because he’s got tongue cancer and was busy fighting that nasty asshole demon. Val’s family also claimed that he had cancer and wasn’t treating it because of his Christian Science beliefs. But Val shit on both Michael Douglas and his family by saying that he doesn’t have cancer and was only dealing with a swollen tongue.
Back then, Val was probably not ready to tell the world about having cancer. But during a Reddit AMA (via Variety) last Wednesday, Val talked about having cancer and said that he’s healing. One Redditor asked Val about what Big Mouth Michael (which strangely enough, is one of my nicknames too) said and he spilled this out:
“He was probably trying to help me cause press probably asked where I was these days, and I did have a healing of cancer, but my tongue is still swollen altho healing all the time. Because I don’t sound my normal self yet people think I may still be under the weather.”
So I guess Michael Douglas was right about something. But because Michael shamelessly put Val Kilmer’s business on the streets, he will never ever get an invitation to join Val and Val’s Cate Blanchett Real Doll to a special dinner. And that’s what his ass gets.