Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 1, 2017 / Posted by:

The maypole in The Wicker Man!

Today is May 1st and that means two things: 1. The “It’s Gonna Be Maymeme with Justin Timberlake’s face on it won’t infect your Facebook, Twitter and Instagram videos for a whole year (hopefully). And 2. It’s when Celtic Pagans, like the island people of The Wicker Man, decorate a tall, skinny wooden peen with colorful ribbons!

The Wicker Man isn’t only a weird-as-fuck classic, it’s also a May Day classic! When the hot sergeant with the magnificently furry brows goes to the island of Summerisle to investigate a missing girl, he finds more eery creepiness and scary plastic smiles than a Kartrashian family dinner. One of the weird things he comes across is a bunch of boy students strapped to a giant pole while doing some kind of ancient ceremonial dance as a creepy dude teacher sings out a special ditty. As that’s going down, a lady teacher is in the school house where she’s talking about the maypole and basically says to the girl students, “Yup, girls, dat’s a dick!

Who knew that Celtic Pagans and Scientologist had something in common. I say that because I’m pretty sure that Tom Cruise, Little Lord David Miscavige, John Travola and the other dudes of the Celebrity Centre bath house partake in a ritual where they dance around a giant peen.

The soft turd that was the American remake of The Wicker Man had a million things wrong with this, but one of the biggest thing that was wrong with it was the fact that it didn’t have the creepy and wonderfully weird Maypole Song in it! That mess may have been saved by the sight of Nicolas Cage screaming, “NOT THE MAYPOLE SONG,” as a creepy teacher began to sing.

Pic: YouTube 

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