Archives: May 2017

Night Crumbs

May 31, 2017 / Posted by:

A former employee from the money management company that Johnny Depp is suing claimed in a deposition that his sister, who runs his production company, regularly took money from him without asking. Johnny’s sister allegedly said that his “money is my money.” Well, I guess Johnny’s sister better get him to sign on to 10 more Pirates of the Caribbean movies, a Pirates of the Caribbean TV series, a Pirates of the Caribbean stage show and a dozen Pirates of the Caribbean-themed children’s birthday parties before she sticks her hand in his bank account and only ends up with a handful of dust- Lainey Gossip 

Amber Heard wants everyone to know that she’s hanging out with Elon Musk’s kids – Celebitchy

The meaning of elegance wrapped in the meaning of demure and topped with a spoonful of opulence – Drunken Stepfather

Gold Diggers Gonna Gold Dig: The Apollo Nida Edition – Reality Tea 

I spent way too much time wondering where Emily RideAJetSki’s nipples are under her hand – Hollywood Tuna

If Jerry Springer really does run for Governor of Ohio, he better choose his greatest guest ever, Coco, as his Lieutenant Governor – Towleroad

Rope fetishist Armie Hammer probably took one look at this picture of Charlotte McKinney and fell in love – Popoholic

Something really strange happened, Zac Efron took a picture with a top on – OMG Blog

I bet Taylor Swift totally owns TwitterAudit – Jezebel

Stop me if you’ve heard this a billion times before, Noel Gallagher talked shit about another music trick – Just Jared

Serena Williams is probably having a girl – Popsugar

Julia Roberts would probably tell you that the highlight of her career was acting opposite Don Johnson’s stunning mullet – SOW



A Judge Issued A $220,000 Default Judgement Against Tori Spelling And Dean McDermott

May 31, 2017 / Posted by:

That t-shirt is cute, because those little ghouls are probably what greets Tori Spelling every time she peeks into any of her bank accounts. “Greetings, we’re the ghosts of dollars past, present, and future! Remember, you can’t spend us, we don’t exis…goddamn it, she’s going into overdraft again.

Five months ago, City National Bank sued Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott over a bank loan. Tori and The Deaner owed $188,802 in loan payments, interest, and late charges. Tori also owed more than $17,000 in overdraft fees and interest. In March, City National issued a default judgement against Tori and Dean. It didn’t get paid. City National recently took it a step further.

E! News says Tori and Dean were supposed to respond to be in court on May 22 to respond to City National’s request, but they didn’t show up.

City National was seeking around $205,000 in damages. The judge granted a default judgement their motion and has ordered Tori and Dean to pay $219,796.66 ($202,066.10 for the loan, plus an additional $17,730.56 for Tori’s overdraft).

Tori and The Deaner better get working on a plan to come up with that money. Hopefully they’ll put a little more effort into it than they put into showing up for court. Dear Candy Spelling: if a very large girl scout with beady possum eyes shows up at your house asking if you’d like to buy some cookies at $60,000 a box, it’s a trap!


Jennifer Garner Called Out People Magazine For Their Cover Story About Her 

May 31, 2017 / Posted by:

Earlier, Allison did a write-up on People’s cover story about how Jennifer Garner is moving on from Ben Affleck and that he’s the love of her life but she’s happy to be single, blah blah blah. The quotes were all from “insiders” and the article seemed pretty harmless. If I had to rate the offensiveness of People’s article from 13 Going On 30 (not offensive) to Nine Lives (beyond offensive), I’d say it sits firmly on 13 Going On 30. And yes, Nine Lives is Jennifer Garner’s most offensive movie. The cat tries to fuck her! That pussy wants to get some pussy action from her. Jennifer Garner shouldn’t be able to call out People on Facebook, because she should be in jail for engaging in soft-core bestiality porn! But I digress…

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Sean Penn And Robin Wright Were Seen Together In NYC

May 31, 2017 / Posted by:

E! News, People and TMZ are saying that Sean Penn and his ex-wife of seven years Robin Wright were seen together in NYC yesterday. Sounds normal. Sean and Robin left JFK airport together earlier in the day, and he was carrying her bags. Sounds normal too. Lots of people carry bags. They were later seen entering what E! News says is an apartment. Um…that’s uh…I’m sure that’s nothing.

I can’t help but think of Alyssa Edwards while looking at that photo of Sean Penn. Girl, look how orange you fucking look, girl. Okay, back to what matters. Robin Wright has been single since she split from her two-time fiancé Ben Foster almost two years ago. Sean was most recently rumored to be with Vincent D’Onofrio’s 24-year-old daughter Leila George. But again, we don’t know why they were together and we don’t know if anything is up. One thing is for sure: Robin has the mental strength of steel if she can tolerate being stuck on a plane for several hours next to Sean Penn. You know he’s a real “rage over nuts” type of passenger.


Thanks To That Bloody Trump Mask Pic, The Dynamic New Year’s Eve Duo Of Kathy Griffin And Anderson Cooper Is No More 

May 31, 2017 / Posted by:

It hasn’t even been 24 hours since Kathy Griffin caused everyone to lose their heads (I see you eye-rolling at my very original pun) over her holding a repurposed Michael Myers mask covered with grenadine syrup in the name of art, and she’s already on her way to joining Billy Bush in the section marked: Tricks Who Get Punished As An Untouched Trump Gleefully Coqueefs Along.

Kathy ended up apologizing for the stunt and said that she knows she fucked up. But it wasn’t enough. Kathy lost an extremely lucrative deal to continue to hawk the shit-aiding toilet ottoman known as Squatty Potty. (You know you really shit the bed when a poop tool product doesn’t even want to be associated with you.) And now CNN has dropped Kathy as co-host of their New Year’s Eve special.

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