Archives: May 2017

Night Crumbs 

May 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Twitter dreams do come true! RiRi and Lupita Nyong’o will star in a buddy comedy that’s based on a tweet that said they look like friends who scam rich white men. Issa Rae will write the script and Ava DuVernay is directing. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to furiously search the internet for a picture of both Alexander Skarsgard and Idris Elba, so that I can tweet that they look like sex addicted lovers who can’t stop fucking each other – Popsugar

Russell Crowe, who once said that he was on Team Nicole Kidman after her divorce from Tom Cruise, is now on Team Neutral, because I guess he’s not getting multi-million dollar offers to star opposite Nicole in big-budget movies – Lainey Gossip 

Prostitution Whore-ah, formerly of Real Housewives of New Jersey, got engaged for the 4 millionth time – Reality Tea

Never mind Nicole Kidman wearing what looks like a costume from a Las Vegas production of Some Like It Hot, John Cameron Mitchell and his checkered bulge (yes, I zoomed in) are stealing the shot – Celebitchy

And here’s Olsen nips brought to you by the third Olsen – Drunken Stepfather

Sense8 delivered some b-hole quivering From Here To Eternity gay action complete with thongs! – Towleroad

Move to the side, Blake, Gwen and Nicole, and let that blond dandy (aka the real star of the picture) step forward – Hollywood Tuna 

Ariel Winter looks like she’s doing Hipster Ariel cosplay – Popoholic

Like every other damn show on the planet, The L-Word may be getting some kind of revival – OMG Blog

Future inmate #666 Abby Lee Miller tried to get in to see Hello, Dolly! and was basically told “Bye, Abby!” – Jezebel

Lin-Manuel Miranda’s voice will be in the DuckTales reboot – Pajiba

And because it’s been another shitty news day, let’s end with some Charo and Mr. T! – SOW

Pic: Getty

 

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Johnny Depp Axed The Idea Of A Female Villain For “Pirates Of The Caribbean 5”

May 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Based on the trailer, the plot of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is about Johnny Depp, playing the character of Captain Johnny Depp, facing off against Javier Bardem as a character named Captain Armando Salazar. But according to a blog post by PotC:DMTNT co-writer Terry Rossio (via Screen Rant), Javier Bardem’s villain character was originally written as a woman. And the reason that character is no longer a lady is because Johnny Depp didn’t want it that way.

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A “Serious Incident” At An Ariana Grande Show In Manchester Has Left Multiple Dead (UPDATE)

May 22, 2017 / Posted by:

The details are pretty blurry and it seems like there’s all kinds of misinformation being thrown around on Twitter, but so far we know for sure that some kind of awful incident happened at Ariana Grande’s show at Manchester Arena in England tonight and multiple people have died.

Update: The BBC reports that witnesses say there was at least one big explosion that came from the back of the arena behind where everyone was sitting. It’s currently being treated as a possible terrorist attack. And in more even horrific news, Greater Manchester Police confirm that 19 have died so far and there’s around 50 injuries.

TMZ says that witnesses say they heard some kind of loud boom at the end of her show. Some described the “boom” as being explosions, others say it sounded like a speaker popping and some say they thought it was a balloon popping. Whatever it was, it caused people to freak out and stampede out of there. There’s videos on Twitter and YouTube of people running out of the arena. Greater Manchester Police tweeted out a note saying that anybody who doesn’t need to be in the area (aka nosy tricks) need to stay away .

Ariana had already left the stage and her rep said that she’s “okay.”

Pic: Backgrid

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Open Post: Hosted By Salma Hayek Wearing One Of Katy Perry’s Old Wigs

May 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Since Salma Hayek is married to a billionaire, that better not be one of Katy Perry’s old ones. That wig better be made from a mane that was donated by an actual pastel pink unicorn. Or a wig made from the pubes of the actual Jem.

At the Women in Motion party at Cannes last night, Salma worked a cotton candy lace front while posing with her billionaire husband and Isabelle Huppert on the black carpet. That wig isn’t the look, but Salma obviously disagrees with me, because She. Is. Feeling. Her. Self. Throw a pink wig on Salma Hayek and suddenly she’s come hither-ing for her life.

And yesterday when my hungover eyes saw these pictures in thumbnail form on the photo agency’s website, I thought it was Kylie Jenner wearing more bronzer than usual. I hope I’m the only one who thought that and nobody told Salma they reminded her of Kylie Jenner. Because if they did, she’d torch that wig and get a new face installed on her head so nobody would ever say the words, “You kind of remind me of Kylie Jenner tonight,” to her again. And honestly, that’d be a reasonable reaction.

Pic: Backgrid

Billy Bush’s “Feel Sorry For Me” Tour Has Begun…

May 22, 2017 / Posted by:

It’s been 7 months since our ears were terrorized by the sound of douchey bobblehead doll Billy Bush giggling after Donald Trump bragged about grabbing pussies without permission. Since then, Billy Bush has been drying his unemployed tears on the millions of dollars NBC gave him to go the hell away while an unscathed Trump is in the White House and getting his pussy-grabbing hand swatted away by the First Lady.

Right after the tape leaked and killed Billy Bush’s job, he dribbled out an apology, but he’s mostly kept his lips closed about that mess until he talked to The Hollywood Reporter last week. Billy Bush not only looks like a ventriloquist’s dummy, but in this interview, it seems like his publicist shoved their fist up his ass and did the talking for him.

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Scarlett Johansson Was Seen Making Out With Colin Jost At An SNL After-Party

May 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Scarlett Johansson made a surprise appearance as Ivanka Trump during the cold open of Saturday Night Live on episode, and she stuck around for the after-party. Several after-party sources tell Page Six that Scarlett was seen at the after-party making out with Weekend Update’s Colin Jost.

ScarJo and…sorry, I can’t call him CoJo (there’s only one CoJo) were reportedly seen “flirting and canoodling” in front of the cast and crew, and appeared to have hit it off. Another source, who was really into watching ScarJo make out, took some detailed notes:

“Scarlett and Colin were making out at the bar…They would make out a bit, then go back to talking. They were at the bar in front of everyone. They made out at least twice. Then they went back to talking and hanging with other people.”

32-year-old Scarlett has been officially single since she announced her split from her husband Romain Dauriac in January. 34-year-old Colin Jost used to date Rashida Jones, and has been relentlessly pursued by Leslie Jones.

This story reaches peak high school upon learning the after-party happened at the Rockefeller Center ice rink. I know there’s no ice on the rink right now, but that still didn’t stop me from picturing Scarlett and Colin “canoodling” over a hot chocolate or skating around to Angel by Shaggy with two hands in one mitten.

Pics: Wenn.com

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