Archives: May 2017

Someone Get This Lazy Kid A Spanish Speak-And-Spell

May 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Justin Bieber is featured on a remix of Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee’s song Despacito. According to Luis, Justin reached out to him and asked to record a remix because he liked the song so much (it was already pretty popular). Justin sang his verse in English and the chorus in Spanish. This is what it sounds like:

Justin’s remix is currently sitting at the number-one spot on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second week in a row, so it wasn’t a surprise that he was handed a mic and asked to sing it during an appearance at 1OAK in New York City on Tuesday night. Unfortunately, Justin couldn’t remember any of the lyrics besides “despacito.” So he made up the rest of the lyrics in the laziest way possible.

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Jamie Foxx Is Still Denying His Relationship With Katie Holmes

May 25, 2017 / Posted by:

I’ve never understood why people in Hollywood get so secretive about who they’re fucking. At some point, just by six degrees of separation, they’ve all fucked each other at least once. Case in point, everyone pretty much knows that Jamie Foxx has become Katie Holmes’ dick of choice for a while now, but they still like to keep shit on the hush hush tip, because we’re all idiots, apparently.

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Scott Disick And Bella Thorne Are Keeping It Fame Whorey In Cannes

May 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Thrush medicine’s new favorite sort-of couple Bella Thorne and Scott Disick left Los Angeles for Cannes on Monday, because they obviously needed to be where they could get the most possible exposure. Since arriving, they wasted no time in stealing a little attention away from all the other fame whores currently in Cannes. UsWeekly says 33-year-old Scott and 19-year-old Bella Thorne were seen “pouvez-nouille-ent” (that’s my attempt at translating “canoodling” to French) at a villa in Cannes yesterday.

That picture was taken after Bella and Scott jumped in the pool with their clothes on. After they got out, Bella stripped down to her swim suit, but I see Scott didn’t. Smart move on Scott’s part; there’s nothing unsexier than watching someone struggle to pull off a pair of wet jeans.

A source tells Entertainment Tonight the obvious:

“They’re just hooking up. It’s nothing serious. They have known each other for a while now.”

Scott was later seen alone at a club just down the street from the club where Kourtney Kardashian and her current boyfriend were hanging out. Scott is going to get in so much trouble when Kris Jenner finds out about that. He had the opportunity to be photographed “accidentally” showing up at the same club as his reason for relevance, with his latest reason for relevance, and he didn’t? The nerve! What’s the point of even going to Cannes if you aren’t going put in the fame whore effort? Honestly, Scott, I’m starting to think you don’t even want to start unnecessary drama anymore.

Pic: Backgrid

Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Mrs. Schumacher (as played by the late Paula Trueman) from the original Dirty Dancing!

Because I was helping my mom move yesterday and her TV situation hasn’t been set up yet, I was spared from witnessing ABC take the original Dirty Dancing, shit all over it, butcher it to pieces and shit on it some more before setting it on fire and then shitting on its ashes. Everyone on the internet and beyond seem to agree that if Patrick Swayze was buried in a grave, his grave-rolling moves would’ve had more rhythm and charisma than that pile of cold trash that ABC aired last night. It seems like the cut-off pieces of Jennifer Grey’s old nose skin would’ve done a better acting job than Abigail Breslin and the wooden Count Von Count with abs figurine who played Johnny Castle. All of the awful reviews for that not-needed shit make me want to see it more, because hate-watching is one of my favorite forms of cardio.

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Birthday Sluts

May 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Sir Ian McKellen (78)
Aly Raisman (23)
Neon Hitch (31)
Roman Reigns (32)
Thorgy Thor (33)
Rasheeda (35)
Esmé Augusta Bianco (35)
Terra Jole (37)
Joe King (37)
Cillian Murphy (41)
Ethan Suplee (41)
Molly Sims (44)
Lindsay and Sidney Greenbush (47)
Octavia Spencer (45)
Jamie Kennedy (46)
Anne Heche (48)
Stacy London (48)
Mike Myers (54)
Connie Sellecca (62)
Eve Ensler (64)
Jacki Weaver (70)
Frank Oz (73)
Leslie Uggams (74)
Ann Robinson (88)

Pic: Instagram

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