Archives: May 2017

Birthday Sluts

May 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Sir Ian McKellen (78)
Aly Raisman (23)
Neon Hitch (31)
Roman Reigns (32)
Thorgy Thor (33)
Rasheeda (35)
Esmé Augusta Bianco (35)
Terra Jole (37)
Joe King (37)
Cillian Murphy (41)
Ethan Suplee (41)
Molly Sims (44)
Lindsay and Sidney Greenbush (47)
Octavia Spencer (45)
Jamie Kennedy (46)
Anne Heche (48)
Stacy London (48)
Mike Myers (54)
Connie Sellecca (62)
Eve Ensler (64)
Jacki Weaver (70)
Frank Oz (73)
Leslie Uggams (74)
Ann Robinson (88)

Pic: Instagram


Night Crumbs

May 24, 2017 / Posted by:

We’ve head about a sequel to Top Gun happening before, but now Tom Cruise says that it’s really happening and will probably come out in 2019. Two things: I bet the boys in the Scientology bath house still giggle at the “top” in Top Gun. And I  also bet that in the sequel, we will learn that Kelly McGillis’ character was in a major plane accident and got total face and body reconstructive surgery. What I’m saying is that her character will be played by a 19-year-old – Lainey Gossip

Pippa Middleton should’ve seen this coming and given People an exclusive picture of her throwing the bouquet into Future Princess Meghan’s hands. Rookie mistake! – Celebitchy

The year is 2017 and Mischa Barton is at Cannes – Drunken Stepfather

Noted gay haters Migos don’t hate drag queens after all. Or, they didn’t show their hate for drag queens during Saturday Night Live, anyway – Towleroad

The Giudices are opening a money laundering operation, I mean, pizza shop – Reality Tea

Salma Hayek thankfully trashed that pink wig and served up some magnificent chichis at Cannes – Popoholic

Jessica Lowndes still exists – Hollywood Tuna 

Things I would trade in my sister and dog for: that cha cha heels-carrying Divine doll – OMG Blog

Panty Creamer of the Day: A showered, de-greased and de-dick cheese’d (I’m guessing) Colin Farrell in a tux – Popsugar

Ariana Grande is reportedly going to pay for the funerals of the 22 victims of the terrorist attack at her show – SOW

She’s also officially put her tour on hold – Just Jared

And here’s more shitty news and sadness, Lisa Spoonauer from Clerks died at the way-too-young age of 44 – Pajiba

Pic: Paramount


Taylor Swift Started Hanging Out With Her New Boyfriend About A Month After She Was Done With Tom Hiddleston

May 24, 2017 / Posted by:

A whole month? That must be some kind of record for Taylor Swift. We’re slowly learning more (aka Taylor gave her publicist the go-ahead to release additional details) about Taylor Swift and her current piece of the moment, British actor Joe Alwyn. Last week we were introduced to the latest boy whose name Taylor has been writing inside her diary. Tay Tay and Joe Joe have been secretly dating for a few months, and she did the not-at-all-creepy thing of renting a house near his parent’s house in London. Now a source is telling People magazine when they got together.

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Dani Mathers Took A Plea Deal In Her Body-Shaming Case

May 24, 2017 / Posted by:

Former Playboy Playmate and all-round rude bitch Dani Mathers went to court today to deal with the time she definitely-not-accidentally body shamed an older naked woman in her gym changing room on Snapchat. Dani was charged with invasion of privacy, which she plead not guilty to. Dani’s lawyer tried to get her out of a trial by attempting to argue that the law was too ambiguous to be constitutional. Nobody bought that, and so Dani ended up in court today.

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Lance Armstrong Is Getting Married

May 24, 2017 / Posted by:

I’m sure you missed the engagement ring on Lance Armstrong’s lady’s hand because you were too transfixed by the lens flares that make it look like she’s shooting streams of liquid hot magma into his chest. But yes, she’s wearing that type on ring on her marriage finger.

Cycling scam artist Lance Armstrong announced yesterday on Instagram that he was getting married to his longtime girlfriend Anna Hansen. Lance posted the above pic with the caption: “She said….YES!” You know, just once I’d love to see a celebrity break from tradition and Instagram a picture of a ring box in the trash with a caption that says: “She said NO #tears #sadness #foreveralone.

Lance and Anna have been together for almost nine years. They have two kids together (Max, 7, and Olivia, 6). Lance has three teenagers from his first marriage to Kristin Richard. He was also once engaged to Sheryl Crow.

A little over two years ago, Anna took the fall for Lance after they left a party in Aspen, CO and he hit two parked cars with his SUV. Lance finally owned up to it after Anna told police she was covering for Lance to prevent his pristine reputation from being dragged through the news. That was very ride-or-die of Anna. I hope that if Lance and Anna write their own vows, he remembers to include something about that. “I Lance, take you Anna, to be my forever accomplice on this journey called life. I promise that whenever I need an excuse, I’ll always come to you first baby. You’ll always be buckled into the passenger seat of my heart…unless I fuck up, in which case you’ll switch seats with me, right?

Pic: Instagram

Tyra Banks Is Named In “America’s Got Talent” Lawsuit

May 24, 2017 / Posted by:

One of the biggest problems with our current society is everyone’s thirst for instant fame. I blame people like Tyra Banks, who decided years ago it would be fun to take regular mu’fuckas, throw them on TV and make them famous during everyone’s favorite smizing hour, America’s Next Top Model.

Well, thankfully, karma has delivered its invoice to Tyra in the form of a lawsuit aimed at the producers of her newest gig, America’s Got Talent.

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