Archives: April 2017

Birthday Sluts

April 30, 2017 / Posted by:

Cloris Leachman (91)
Luke Friend (21)
Travis Scott (25)
Mac DeMarco (27)
Dianna Agron (31)
Gal Gadot (32)
Lilly Ghalichi (34)
Kirsten Dunst (35)
Drew Seeley (35)
Kunal Nayyar (36)
Amanda Palmer (41)
Johnny Galecki (42)
Jeff Timmons (44)
Adrian Pasdar (52)
David Miscavige (57)
Stephen Harper (58)
Lars Von Trier (61)
Michael Wright (61)
Jane Campion (63)
Burt Young (77)
Jill Clayburgh (1944-2010)
Bobby Vee (1943-2016)
Eve Arden (1908-1990)

Pic: Fox

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Open Post: Hosted By Pickle Juice Soda

April 29, 2017 / Posted by:

A chain of stores, called Grandpa Joe’s Candy Shop, has introduced Pickle Juice Soda because, why not, we needed more disgusting beverages in the world and Clamato Juice already exists.

Mashable reports that fans of pickles and pickled things are going to find this a big “dill.” I didn’t pun that, they did!

“If you’re the kind of pickle lover who relishes all things pickled, this is gonna be a really big dill,” the store wrote on its Facebook page.

What does it taste like? To sum it up – DEATH. Well, they say it tastes like sweet pickle juice. So, yeah – DEATH.

“Your brain prepares you for the taste of pickle juice (like right from the jar),” the store wrote in an email. “It smells just like dill pickle juice as you might imagine. The taste is spot-on. While the flavor isn’t overwhelming, it’s sweet and would definitely satisfy that pickle craving”

You can buy a $29.99 six pack online here. Or you can just buy a jar of pickles and drink the juice. Probably cheaper.

Pic: Facebook

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DMX Went To Rehab Again

April 29, 2017 / Posted by:

TMZ says that bellowing hip-hop artist and father of multitudes, DMX, has entered rehab once more. He reportedly checked into a facility in Southern California on Thursday night. The rapper’s manager, Pat Gallo, and ex-girlfriend, Tashera Simmons, supposedly encouraged him to seek help. DMX has recently been missing performances (are they sure he wasn’t just arrested before these shows?) and his alcohol intake had his loved ones concerned. This isn’t his first stint in rehab. Dude’s kind of all over the place.

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Ciara Gave Birth To A “Princess”

April 29, 2017 / Posted by:

And she thankfully didn’t have that princess in an intersection!

Ciara and her husband, Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson, announced the birth of their baby girl on her Instagram. Where else are you going to announce you had a baby nowadays? All those janky printing companies where you can order up 3,000 pieces of cardstock adorned with clip art and your child’s name misspelled must be furious with Instagram for effing with their revenue.

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Shannen Doherty Says Her Cancer Is In Remission

April 29, 2017 / Posted by:

Someone tell Jim and Cindy Walsh to bring some decorations down to Nat at the Peach Pit. A celebration is in order! Shannen Doherty says that she beat the shit out of cancer. You don’t eff with Brenda Walsh.

Shannen posted on her Instagram that she found out that her breast cancer is in remission. I think Shannen just imagined her cancer as a combination of Kelly Taylor, Emily Valentine, and that Valerie Malone chick (who thought she could replace Brenda) and just mentally slapped that amalgam over and over. Surely that helped her vanquish her illness.

“Moments. They happen. Today was and is a moment. What does remission mean? I heard that word and have no idea how to react. Good news? YES. Overwhelming. YES. Now more waiting.”

Shannen went on to explain that finding out you’re in remission is in no way the end of the battle. She really won’t be out of the woods, so to speak, for five years because reoccurrences can happen. She also has to meet with surgeons about getting multiple reconstruction surgeries. And there’s meds.

Decision on taking a pill for the next five years that comes with its own set of problems and side effects. I am blessed, I know that. But for now…. remission. I’m going to just breathe. #cancerslayer

Wouldn’t we all like to punch cancer in the face like it was a Nazi? Hopefully this means that Shannen will definitely be reprising her Heather Duke character for the Heathers reboot. She can now take over that shitshow and make it the one-Heather tour de force that it can and should be!

Pic: WENN

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Hackers Have Leaked Season Five Episodes Of “OITNB” Early

April 29, 2017 / Posted by:

A group of hackers called “thedarkoverlord” (*eye roll*) has reportedly stolen the upcoming fifth season of Orange Is The New Black. “thedarkoverlord” (I don’t have to keep inserting *eye roll* here, right?) claimed to have already uploaded ten out of thirteen episodes to an illegal file sharing service. (Remember when we all stole songs with Napster and told ourselves that it wasn’t thievery and just free shit, since it wasn’t physical media?) Season five of OITNB is supposed to premiere on Netflix on June 9.

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