Amber Heard and Elon Musk have finally taken their hush-hush relationship public. We know they’ve been together for almost a year now, but apparently if Elon had had his way, he and Amber would have been a couple way sooner. Ever since they met on the set of Machete Kills in 2013, Elon had been pursuing Amber like he was Wayne Campbell and she was a 64 Fender Stratocaster. But a source tells UsWeekly that Amber kept turning him down. All that woo-ing paid off, and two months after her marriage to Johnny Depp crashed and burned, she succumbed to his charms. Elon was nice enough to give her a gift when she finally agreed to go out with him:
“Elon has been pursuing Amber, but she wouldn’t go out with him for a long time. She finally gave in. He even got her a Tesla!”
Let’s not pretend like a Tesla is such a generous gift. The guy owns Tesla. That’s like the manager of a McDonald’s bragging that their girlfriend never pays for McNuggets.
To put all this in perspective. Amber got with Johnny Depp after filming The Rum Diary in 2011. They officially got divorced in January. Elon was still technically married to his second wife Talulah Riley until October of last year, so it sounds like being married isn’t exactly a road block on his quest to get laid. Amber might want to keep that in mind. The good news is she won’t be blindsided if Elon decides to cheat on her. She’ll know exactly what’s up if she sees him headed to the Tesla dealership with a giant car-sized bow under his arm.