Ever since the rumors about Amber Heard getting on Elon Musk’s billionaire dick popped up, some have been screaming, “Get money, bitch“, at her. So I’m going to choose to believe that Amber is purposefully throwing a look that says, “I am getting money, bitch,” while posing next to the kiss mark she planted on that bottomless ATM.
There’s been rumor after rumor that Amber has rebounded from the pile of dick cheese-stained scarves that is Johnny Depp with Tesla billionaire Elon Musk, but there was never photographic proof until this past weekend when they went all out. They both posted a picture on Instagram of themselves at a restaurant on the Gold Coast and they also hit the ho stroll before going ziplining. What’s really surprising is that in that picture above, Elon isn’t smugly patting himself on the back, because he’s wanted Amber for so long that you’d think he’d publicly congratulate himself for finally landing that trophy.
TMZ says that Amber and Elon went ziplining with two of his sons. Elon had six sons with his first wife Justine Wilson (their first son died of SIDS at only 10 weeks old). So it’s a good thing for Amber that her billionaire man is an inventor, because he can build her a glass helmet that pipes in weed smoke. A hotboxing helmet is what I’d need to get me through a playdate with all of Elon’s sons.
Amber Heard & Elon Musk Go Ziplining Down Under WITH His Kids (PHOTO GALLERY) https://t.co/bGfaUjsISK
— TMZ (@TMZ) April 24, 2017
Elon is a real-life Bond villain with a heart that’s supposedly like a Foreigner song and he’s been known to be a controlling douche rash to his wives, so this situation may be one for the “This Is Going To End MESSY” file. But hopefully it won’t, and maybe Amber and Elon have found true love. I mean, true love is you and your piece whispering Ayn Rand quotes into each other’s ears while boning.
And honestly, the real story here is that Amber is back in Australia. Amber is currently shooting Aquaman in Australia. So I’m going need the paparazzi down under to head over to Barnaby Joyce’s office. Because I really want to see the look on his face when he strolls out and sees his furry arch rivals, Boo and Pistol Heard, winking at him like, “We’re baaaaaack, motherfucker!”