Melissa McCarthy better start working on her Bill O’Reilly impersonation. Because if Sean Spicer ever gets fired as White House press secretary, Jabba the Trump is totally going to move his media boo Bill O’Reilly into that position now that bitch is out of a job.
Bill O’Reilly took a “vacation” from his Fox News show, The O’Reilly Factor, last week and it turns out that vacation has become permanent. I guess the powers-that-be at Fox News decided that Billy O ain’t worth all of those sexual assault allegations and it’s better for business to wash their hands of him. The New York Times reported that 20th Century Fox, Fox News’ parent company, has already paid $13 million in settlements to his accusers. The accusations keep coming too. One Fox News clerical worker, who is black, came forward recently and said that Bill called her “hot chocolate,” grunted at her and leered at her.
Jerry Hall’s super villain husband and the chairman of Fox News Rupert Murdoch and the other Murdochs farted out an office memo today stating that they’ve decided Bill O’Reilly should go after reviewing the allegations. More like they reviewed The O’Reilly Factor’s list of remaining advertisers and the only things on that list were moth balls and tumbleweeds. This is the memo that went out.
We’d like to address questions about Bill O’Reilly’s future at Fox News. After a thorough and careful review of allegations against him, the Company and Bill O’Reilly have agreed that Mr. O’Reilly will not return to the Fox News Channel.
This decision follows an extensive review done in collaboration with outside counsel.
By ratings standards, Bill O’Reilly is one of the most accomplished TV personalities in the history of cable news. In fact, his success by any measure is indisputable. Fox News has demonstrated again and again the strength of its talent bench. We have full confidence that the network will continue to be a powerhouse in cable news.
Lastly, and most importantly, we want to underscore our consistent commitment to fostering a work environment built on the values of trust and respect.
When Roger Ailes and his tartare huevos were shown the exit door at Fox News, he reportedly got a $40 million “bye, bitch” settlement. Bill was reportedly making around $15 million a year at Fox News, so I’m sure he’s wiping his rejected asshole tears on the piles of money Fox gave him to go away.
Fox News has already announced that Tucker Carlson is sliding into Bill O’Reilly’s open slot (I know you needed that visual today). So, Billy Bush better turn his ass around and go back home, because I’m sure he was making his way to Fox News to slide his resume under the door.
And my only question about Bill getting forced out by Fox News is: Did they do it live?