Well, Knocking Up A Side Trick Is One Way To Completely Ruin Your Marriage

April 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Pimp Mama Kris added Carmelo Anthony’s name to the long, long list of possible suitors for her hos after it was reported that he and his wife of almost 7 years La La Anthony (who is also Kim Kartrashian’s friend) decided that they didn’t want to be together anymore. Carmelo, who currently plays with the New York Knicks, and one-time MTV VJ La La (born name: Alani Nicole Vázquez) are living in separate places, but trying to keep things nice and drama-free for the sake of their 10-year-old son Kiyan. TMZ’s sources said their marriage has been floating in the toilet for a while, and apparently one of the things that helped La La decide to finally hit the flusher was finding out that Carmelo knocked up his stripper side piece. The good news for all of us is that we gained 10 extra minutes in our day because that’s how long the earth stood still from the shock of a professional athlete cheating on his wife.

TMZ said yesterday that a major crack was put in their marriage from the stress of Carmelo possibly getting traded to another team due to the Knicks president pretty much hating him more than the Teletubbies hate La La for thinking she stole one of their names. Today, TMZ says that there’s another thing that messed with their marriage. Carmelo allegedly got that seven year itch a little early and scratched it on a stripper’s cooze.

Sources say that Carmelo’s side piece often works at a strip club in NYC. She claims she’s around 6 and a half months pregnant and wants him to pay her baby-related expenses and medical bills. La La isn’t happy about it.

But a source tells Page Six that TMZ’s story isn’t true. The source says that even though Carmelo’s peen has wandered through most of his 7 year marriage, he didn’t knock up a stripper.

“Melo’s tagline was ‘She’s married, I’m not’. That’s how he would justify it. His attitude is that all professional athletes do it, and many of them do. La La has put up with a lot. She knew it was going on, but I guess this time she’s had enough.

The stripper pregnancy rumor is not true. Yes he’s not been perfect, but the baby with a stripper isn’t true.”

“She’s married, I’m not” is definitely a defense that’s going to work well for Carmelo during his eventual divorce fight with La La. The Knicks may have been losing left and right, but off the court, Carmelo is winning at the game of Fucking Up. I mean, the threat of a very expensive divorce is coming at him at around the same time his wife finds out that he may have knocked up his side piece. Bitch is truly the MVP of Fucking Up.

Pic: Wenn.com

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