Starbucks’ Latest Frapp Is An Enchanted Vomit Nightmare

April 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Unicorn shit is so hot right now. When I say shit, I mean there is literally no end to the stuff you can buy that looks like someone let a unicorn drag its dirty butt across it first. Makeup. Toast. Dildos. Starbucks has recently decided to hop on the unicorn trend bandwagon with a pink and blue monstrosity called the Unicorn Frappuccino, available starting tomorrow.

Starbucks says that the Unicorn Frapp is a color-shifting drink that starts out purple, then turns to pink, then blue. Starbucks takes a crème base and blends it with mango syrup and a sour blue drizzle, then finishes it with whipped cream and pink and blue powder. Here’s what the Unicorn Frapp looks like in real life. It looks like an edible Shampoodle.

The Unicorn Frappuccino will be available from April 19 until April 23 in participating Starbucks in the US, Canada, and Mexico.

I bet the second Britney Spears (Queen of Frapps) and Mariah Carey (Official Liason Between Humans and Unicorns) found out about this unholy union, they called each other up, screaming with excitement and made a date to be the first in line to buy one. Or maybe they’ve already tried it? I bet they were the masterminds behind this frapp. I know Starbucks wants to take credit for the Unicorn Frapp, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it came into existence after Britney Spears and Mariah Carey ambushed a Starbucks, Bonnie and Clyde-style, and demanded the baristas let them chug directly from all the syrup dispensers and snort the sugar powder.

Pic: Instagram

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