64-year-old Jeff Goldblum, and his 34-year-old wife Emilie Livingston, had another kid to go with their 21-month-old son, Charlie Ocean. Emilie announced the birth of River Joe Goldblum on her Instagram (via People) yesterday.
The theme for baby name choices in the Goldblum/Livingston family? “Wet.”
The married couple of two years welcomed a son — River Joe Goldblum — on Friday, April 7, at 8:53 a.m., Livingston shared on Instagram Friday.
“I can’t believe it’s been a week already!” the mom of two captioned a series of sweet hospital shots featuring Livingston, Goldblum and new big brother Charlie Ocean, 21 months, who himself was born — fittingly! — on July 4 in 2015.
“River Joe” sounds like the scary old man in the shack by the bayou that the adventurous mystery-solving kids have to visit to find out the secret of the old watch. What I’m saying is that I really like it. All babies should have names that sound like they should have giant, dirty beards and a shotgun waiting to blow away trespassers.
Emilie also referred to Jeff as her and the babies’ “rock” in another post. You may roll your eyes but, hey, at least the Goldblum family didn’t go “over the moon” with River Joe or let us know that “mother and baby are doing fine.” It would nice if some truthfulness would come into play with these birth announcements. It would at least liven them up. “Jeff vomited when he found out that a c-section meant that they would be taking my uterus out of me to get it out of the way for the baby removal and then putting it back in” or “the lactation nurse was a straight-up bitch when I told her I didn’t want a demonic imp sucking my soul out of me through my boob” would give it an aura of honesty and authenticity.
“Charlie Ocean is such a sweet and caring older brother. We couldn’t be happier!!!” she continued. “@jeffgoldblum is our rock and continues to be an exceptionally loving and passionate father! Love my boys!!!”
Jeff is 64 years old, and he’s got a 21-month old baby and a newborn. Dude is gonna be 82 years old when River Joe graduates high school. Hopefully, he’s kept up that sexy Jurassic Park body he was laying around with, because he’s going to need the stamina to survive this ordeal.