If you put down “April 13, 2017″ in your “When Will Jennifer Garner File For Divorce?” pool, then you’re lying, because everybody had “April 13, 2000ANDNEVER.” I know they’ve only been officially over for around two years, but I thought that one of the last things I’d see before dying would be an important news report saying that 94-year-old Ben Affleck and 94-year-old Jennifer Garner haven’t decided if they’re going to divorce yet.
Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck put an end to the tabloid’s favorite back-and-forth sport of saying that they’re on and then off by filing for divorce today. TMZ seems to think Jennifer and Ben’s divorce isn’t going to turn into a messy shit puddle of a battle like other celebrity divorces. Jennifer and Ben both filed without a lawyer and her petition and his response were filed at the same time.
Co-Parent Ben and Co-Parent Jen both want to share legal and physical custody of their three children. Neither specified if they want spousal or child support. But if one of them got that shit, it’d probably be Jennifer. Even though Jennifer has that Capital One and Neutrogena cash, Ben supposedly made a lot more money than her during their 10-year marriage. They don’t have a prenup, so they’ll split everything they earned during their marriage 50/50. I’m sure Ben’s response to that is:
TMZ also thinks that their divorce will be handled out of court and will be wrapped up before 2017 ends.
What I want to know is: Who is going to get custody of their favorite pap photo-op place, the Brentwood Country Mart?! But seriously, it’s good for Ben that they’re being calm and civil. Because if their divorce turned into a divorce fight and went to court, Jennifer could easily win it all by pulling out a giant picture of his gigantic back tattoo and telling the judge that’s the reason why she’s divorcing him. The judge would give her everything and even make Ben pay her a piece of his future earnings for all the pain, suffering and humiliation she’s gone through!
And here’s Jen leaving a dry bar after blowing that Ben right out of her hair in Brentwood a couple of days ago: