Note To Women From Tyrese: God Will Send You A Good Man If You’re Not A Slut, Skeezer, Hoe Or Tramp

April 11, 2017 / Posted by:

It’s a damn good thing I’m not a woman looking for a good man, because my business card proudly states I’m a “Slut, Skeezer, Ho And Tramp-At-Large.

Tyrese’s bald head has been firmly stuck up his ass for a while now. Tyrese thinks that the pile of mashed dumb in his head is a fountain of endless wisdom and enlightenment for women. Tyrese even wrote a relationship advice book with Rev Run and they hosted a talk show based on their book (the show got canceled). Some of Tyrese’s “greatest hits” include the time he said that Amber Rose dresses in a way that invites groping and that real men don’t take women with fake hair and silicone chichis seriously. Tyrese is back, and this time he’s telling women that God will send you what’s yours if you know your value (read: don’t pass that snatch around). Tyrese also thinks that sluts, skeezers, hoes and tramps (read: Dlisted’s main demographic, I love you) are lowering their value and partly because their coochies have a lot of miles. Don’t believe Tyrese about the coochie mileage thing? Check your coochie’s Kelley Blue Book price!

Tyrese mouth farted up his latest sermon while promoting The Fate of the Furious during an interview with BET. Tyrese, who must be the owner of a peen with very low miles on it, said that he has respect for single women. Because single women have standards, and unlike sluts and skeezers, they’re not slutting it up in the streets and doing skanky things like eating lunch! Tyrese is your self-righteous uncle who goes on about “overly aggressive promiscuous women,” but then gets kicked out of a strip club for trying to get a stripper to blow him for $5.

“I appreciate all the ladies out there that are still single, that are holding out. Don’t settle. Don’t settle. Because I’m gonna tell you all right now, and this might be harsh. Sluts, skeezers, hoes, tramps and overly aggressive promiscuous women, they are never without a man because they don’t have no standards. They ready to have sex with any and everything that want to have sex with them. But when you are single, and you actually love yourself, you know your value and your self worth you hold out until God sends you whats yours.”

So sometimes they be talking mess to women that are single but I have a respect for them because if you’re single and you might say, ‘I’ve been single for a couple years,’ what ever the case may be, you actually holding out because you have your value. You have women that are active out in these streets, they going to lunches and dinners every night. Private planes, mega yachts, it’s cracking. They’re never without. However, it comes with a cost, you gonna put a lot of miles on yourself down there, come on.”

This dumbass. His job is to sell a movie to the masses and he just pissed off all of us sluts and skeezers. But then again, sluts don’t go to the movies, because they’re too busy sluttily eating a slutty salad during a slutty lunch. I’m totally craving a slutty salad now.

Pic: Wenn.com

 

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