More Proof That Real And True Love Doesn’t Exist: Mimi And Her Dancing Boy Toy Broke Up

April 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Well, at least we’ll always have that magnificently acted scene from Mariah’s World that proved that Mimi and Bryan Tanaka are the Katharine Hepburn and Sir Laurence Olivier of our time. Anybody who watched that scene isn’t surprised by this news, because Mimi and Bryan had as much heat as the opened box of baking soda that’s been sitting in the back of your refrigerator for 10 years and any relationship that has that much passion is destined to blow the hell up.

Mariah’s World ended on January 29, 2017, and I figured that on that day, Mimi’s bodyguards would knock on the door to her pool house and hand Bryan his final check and a parting gift (an autographed Glitter DVD because trick’s gotta get rid of her stock of that shit somehow) before escorting him away from the unicorn rainbow kingdom. But Mimi kept her own personal KFed around for a little while longer. TMZ says that they’re now over, because she was sick of dealing with him being jealous of Nick Cannon and she was also tired of using her money to buy him opulent gifts. There’s no rude awakening like the one someone gets when going from sugar baby to sugar mama.

Sources tell TMZ that Bryan would fill with jealousy every time Mimi had family time with her ex Nick Cannon and their twins. When Mimi and Nick took their twins to the Kids’ Choice Awards last month, Boy Toy Bryan went into a rage and told her to leave and come home. That was apparently what made Mimi finally hand Bryan his pink slip. Like Mimi, Bryan also supposedly loves sparkly jewels and expected her to slather his wrists with lavish watches and jewelry. Mimi didn’t like that. She also realized something all of us realized on day one: that Bryan was just using her for money and fame.

Mimi getting with a member of the 99% who can’t afford to rent his own separate yacht when they go on vacation made no sense to me. Dating a non-rich back-up dancer is a “Her” thing, not a Mimi thing. Mimi needs to be with a billionaire who can keep her bathtub filled with diamonds and Cristal. Janet Jackson’s billionaire husband is now available….but I don’t know if that would work. Because the day that Mimi has to fully cover up her Hello Titties and butterfly nipples is the day the earth crashes into the sun.

And here’s Mimi and her human walking stick/boy toy on March 17 posing for the paps in their last couples photo-op together.

Pics: FameFlynet

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