Caitlyn Jenner’s memoir, The Secrets Of My Life, is coming out soon and usually when a fame whore’s got a book to peddle, their publisher burps out an excerpt that is guaranteed to get a billion headlines. Radar is the only one who has this excerpt from Caitlyn’s book about getting gender reassignment surgery, so I’m squinting at it the same way I squint at a timeshare salesperson who tells me that they’ll give me 2 free tickets to a booze cruise if I just sit in on a 20-minute pitch (that I know will take 9 hours and end with me crying mercy on the carpet). But let’s go with it anyway. (UPDATE: Radar was telling the truth and People has confirmed that Caitlyn did go through surgery.)
After Caitlyn Jenner officially came out as transgender on the cover of Vanity Fair in June 2015, the tabloids wrote about how she was getting gender reassignment surgery. The Republican sweetheart told Sports Illustrated last year that she’s not going to talk about that and what she does to her body is her business and nobody else’s. But when you got a book to sell, you spill it.
Radar says in the excerpt, Caitlyn writes that she’s talking about her surgery now, because she believes in being open with everyone, but this is the last time she’ll talk about it.
“The surgery was a success, and I feel not only wonderful but liberated. I am telling you because I believe in candor. So all of you can stop staring. You want to know, so now you know. Which is why this is the first time, and the last time, I will ever speak of it.”
Caitlyn allegedly goes on to write this about why she decided to turn her peen into a poon:
“So why even consider it? Because it’s just a penis. It has no special gifts or use for me other tan what I have said before, the ability to take a whiz in the woods. I just want to have all the right parts. I am also tired of tucking the damn thing in all the time.”
Gossip Cop asked Caitlyn’s rep if that excerpt is in her book and they refused to comment.
Usually when a Kartrashian (or a Kartrashian-adjacent, in this case) says that they’re not going to talk about something anymore, what they really mean is that they’re going to keep talking about it for as long as it gets them attention. But if Caitlyn really doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, she better make that clear to Pimp Mama Kris. Because I have a feeling that in the near future, PMK will call Caitlyn and say, “Listen, Jenner, my good friends at Penthouse called and offered up 8-figures for you to pose full-frontal, and I sort of said yes, because it goes against my oath to Satan to say ‘no’ to that much money.”