Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 8, 2017 / Posted by:

Riot, the most perfect man in the world!

Tupac, Journey, Joan Baez, Pearl Jam, ELO and Yes were all inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame yesterday, and that’s great and everything, but what about the three most influential bands of the 80s? I’m talking about Jem and the Holograms, The Misfits and The Stingers! Every year that goes by where Jem, The Misfits or The Stingers aren’t inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is another year where no one can take the music industry seriously! I’m going to do what the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame should’ve done years ago and induct an artist from the Jem universe into the Hot Slut Hall of Fame (or Shame, depending on how you look at it).

Nearly every character and everybody involved in Jem is a HSOTD. That goes without saying, but today we’re paying tribute to the singing adonis who could make genitals pass out with one coo and who could put anyone in a coma with a hair flip (and not only because the fumes from the four cans of AquaNet in his hair are potent enough to knock a trick out). The Stingers were frenemies of Jem and the Holograms, and they weren’t nearly as glamorous as The Misfits, but what band is, really?

The Stingers were the hottest band from West Germany (it was the 80s) and they were made up of the stunning grifter Rapture, the stunning man eater Minx and the leader singer Riot  (government name: Rory Llewelyn). If Fabio and Siegfried Fischbacher from Seigfried & Roy had a baby – I need to stop here. Obvious reasons aside, it would be physically impossible for Fabio and Siegfried to have a baby together. Because as soon as their sex parts touched, they’d combust from the extreme hotness overload. But if they were able to have a baby, that baby would be Riot.

Riot had hair like a crooked television evangelist’s wife and he dressed like a gay pirate. He was gorgeousness personified. If Riot could clone himself, he’d marry that clone, but since science wasn’t there yet, he had to settle for Jem. Riot thought that Jem was the perfect woman, and since he was the perfect man, he thought they were meant to be together.

YouTube has many of The Stingers’ gorgeous songs, but here’s a hypnotic one. Prepared to be enchanted! (Fun Fact: Vicki Sue Robinson did the singing voice for both Rapture and Minx.)

Not too long ago, a line of limited-edition collectible Jem dolls were release and this is the Riot one:

riotdoll2017

That doll should be classified as a weapon, because it could stun bitches with its spectacular beauty.

Pics: Jem Wikia, Flickr

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