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April 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Starbucks’ American Cherry Pie Frapp!

A Frapp is basically blended up dessert in a plastic cup, and in Japan, Starbucks has taken one step closer to turning that  sugary mess into full-on dessert. Starbucks Japan announced that for a very limited-time, beginning next week, they will sell their answer to cherry pie a la mode. The American Cherry Pie Frapp is made up of cherry pie innards, vanilla-flavored froth and whipped cream. It’s topped with a pie crust lid. Starbucks Japan has barfed it up in honor of cherry blossom season.

Starbucks in the U.S. said that they have no plans to bring the American Cherry Pie over here. But as Eater points out, other coffeehouses and restaurants have done something similar, like Go Get Em Tiger in L.A. They’ve done a pumpkin spice latte topped with a tiny whipped cream-filled pie. That shit is like heaven wrapped in Prozac to a basic who just got dumped by her man.

Brit Brit Spears probably won’t be in Asia during the time the American Cherry Pie Frapp is available, but still. Starbucks in Japan should prepare themselves, because when she finds out about this, she’s going to do the furious Tasmanian Devil whirl across the Pacific and gobble up every American Pie Frapp available before whirling back. Daddy Spears will walk into her room one night and ask if she went somewhere, and she’ll respond with, “Naw, pa, naw,” as her face is smeared with cherry pie filling and her window is wide open.

Pic: Starbucks Japan

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