There’s a billion reasons for why it’s a shit time to be alive (see: any “serious” news site of your choice for many examples of that), but there’s a big reason for why it’s a glorious time to be alive. We’re currently living in the golden age of masterful food sculptures of celebrities. Last week, a food artiste unveiled their own Mona Lisa, a sculpture of a knocked up Beyoncé made entirely of cheese. Bri-oncé! And also last week, an engineer and YouTuber from Ventura, CA created the David of the food sculpture world: a ham and cheese sandwich that looks like Vin Diesel. Well, I was hoping for a ham and beef sculpture of The Hammaconda, but I guess I’ll take this.
William Osman got the idea for the ham and cheese Vin Diesel from a viewer named RestroomSounds. Williamangelo tells Munchies that he and his co-artiste, John Willner, used only the finest materials (cheap cheese and $6 worth of deli ham) to create their masterpiece. It took about 10 hours to make it with help from a laser cutter. From the neck to the head, the end product sort of looks like an 8-bit cheesy dick. And overall it looks like more like a skinny-headed Jason Statham with long tits than Vin Diesel. But it still looks more like Vin Diesel than the bust of Crispy Ronaldo looks like Crispy Ronaldo.
They should’ve used more cheese if they wanted it to be as cheesy as the real Vin Diesel. It is a thing of beauty, though, and I so would. And by that I mean I’d eat it, you sicko. I may be desperate but I’m not desperate enough to fuck a sandwich, again.
William should also expect a call from The Rock who is totally going to commission him to make a sculpture of Vin’s ass out of candy.
Here’s the real Vin with Charlize Theron at the Berlin premiere of The Fate of the Furious today.