Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 4, 2017 / Posted by:

The mattress in Australia who nearly took out and then saved a biker!

One of my favorite HSOTDs in the history of HSOTD is the Abandoned Couch of 2008. The Abandoned Couch was, well, an abandoned couch that had been cold-heartedly left on the side of a street in North Hollywood to die (or to be picked up by a hipster, reupholstered in a vintage bird print fabric and sold to another hipster at the Rose Bowl Flea Market, which is worse than death!). But what’s one man’s trash is another man’s SAVIOR! The Abandoned Couch ended up catching a car that flipped on its side during an accident. The Abandoned Couch heroically saved that driver and later earned a Medal of Honor and now sits in a prime spot at the Hall of Heroes museum in Indiana. (That’s the happy ending I wrote in my head, but for real, Abandoned Couch probably ended up being a seagull toilet in the landfill.) Well, it looks like Abandoned Couch’s legacy sort of lives on. Although, the Flying Mattress of Australia isn’t totally a do-gooder like Abandoned Couch. This bitch is more like a troublemaker with a heart of gold.

The Gatton Star says that last week, a truck was driving through the Clem 7 tunnel in Brisbane when one of the two mattresses it was carrying decided to do a bad thing and throw itself off of  it (yes, mattresses can decide to do that, because life is a Pixar movie). The mattress flipped through the air before landing in front of Aaron Wood, who was on a motorcycle. The mattress landed in front of Aaron’s wheel, which caused his bike to almost flip forward. Aaron hopped off and lived to tell the tale. Aaron did get cuts to his hand, but he’s fine, overall.

 “I was just very lucky to come out unscathed – apart from some cuts to my hands. The police are amazed that I am alive.”

The dumbass driver of the truck never stopped and may not have even realized that their mattress made a break for it. The police are trying to track down the driver. As for the mattress… Yes, that trick is the Latarian Milton of mattresses since it likes to do bad things, but it did change its mind at the last minute. If the mattress hit Aaron’s body, knocking him off of his bike, shit would’ve been bad. But instead the mattress had a change of black heart and landed in front of Aaron.

Hopefully, Abandoned Couch is still alive and can take Flying Mattress under its wing arm and show it the way. Abandoned Couch can be the Batman to Flying Mattresses’ Robin. And yes, I was 100% sober and not-at-all stoned while writing almost 500 words about an abandoned couch and a flying mattress.

Pic: Facebook

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