The good news is that none of us have to watch Dancing with the Stars anymore since the only reason to watch is now gone. The sad news is that we have once again been reminded that Americans shouldn’t be allowed to vote for anything since the people can’t get shit right. Charo was told to exit stage left last night after she got the lowest total score. Charo was in the bottom two with fucking Nick Vile from The Bachelor. Yes, a no-talent-having bowl of unseasoned cauliflower mash got a higher total score than an international superstar legend! This country…
Charo was also in the bottom two last week, and she was reportedly threatening to leave the show over the judges committing a major injustice by underscoring her. But since Charo is a true professional and a saint who just can’t deprive the people of her talent and beauty, she danced the foxtrot with her partner Keo Motsepe during last night’s Vegas-themed episode. While looking like a virginal Eastertime bride, Charo gracefully danced with Keo to Chapel of Love. The four judges should’ve asked producers for more “10” paddles so that they could give Charo a score of 100 out of 40, but since their jealousy knows no bounds, they gave her all sixes. I’m guessing that 6666 is the mark of the beast with an extra 6 thrown in for good measure. If that’s the case, that score is actually fitting since those judges are dark-sided demons for going against an angel like Charo.
You can watch all of last night’s performances here, but this is the only one you need:
After Charo learned her fate, she gave a goodbye speech and told her nemesis, judge Bruno Tonioli, to meet her in the parking lot. Charo is a lover, not a fighter, so she didn’t want to whoop Bruno’s ass. Charo just wanted to perform an exorcism to rid his body of the jealousy demon that scored her so low!
A bright shining A-list queen like Charo getting kicked off of a shit show for has-beens is depressing, but I was lifted a bit by the sight of Kristi Yamaguchi sticking by her “Break a leg, Nancy!” joke.