“Ghost In The Shell” Is The Latest Whitewashed Turd To Flop

April 3, 2017 / Posted by:

Ghost in the Shell made a grand total of $19 million at the domestic box office this past weekend and that’s almost enough to cover the movie’s wig budget. What am I saying? That busted and raggedy “Moe Howard with two weave pieces taped to its sides” wig didn’t even cost $19. Ghost in the Shell, which cost $110 million to make, came in third behind The Boss Baby, which isn’t a Donald Trump biopic, ($49 million) and Beauty and the Beast ($47.5 million). Yeah, Ghost in the Shell got its ass beat bad by a yodeling CGI buffalo and a bossy computer animated baby in a teeny tiny Men’s Wearhouse suit.

Variety says that GITS picked up $40 million outside of North America, bringing its worldwide total to around $59 million.

Megan Colligan, the head of marketing and distribution for Paramount, thinks that the anger about the whitewashing of Major Motoko Kusanagi had a little to do with why GITS bombed. She thinks what hurt it the most was the fact that many critics said that if you want to experience GITS for free, just shit on your palm and look at it for 2 hours.

“It was a small, but vocal group. It had some impact, but it was more of the impact overall on reviews. I think people are becoming more vocal on these types of issues. I haven’t worked on many large-scale action movies that have a female lead, so I wish it had been embraced more.”

So does this mean that Hollywood is going to stop thinking that they need to whitewash a lead role with an A-list star to make tons of money (see: Ghost in the Shell and Exodus: Gods and Kings)? Yeah, right. If anything, the powers-that-be of Hollywood are probably blaming the flopping of Ghost in the Shell on the lead role being a girl! So if they decide to do a sequel for some reason, that shit will open with (SPOILER ALERT, if you care) robot scientists taking out the Japanese lady brain from ScarJo’s cyborg body and putting it into the cyborg body of the new Major played by Marky Mark.

And Paramount will probably try to save GITS from tanking more by renaming it: Hot Chick With Big Tits In A Naked Suit.

Pic: Paramount

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