Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 2, 2017 / Posted by:

Hostess Grizzly Chomps!

In 1991, Hostess finally delivered a totally healthy dessert snack. Yes, Hostess Grizzly Chops probably had enough sugar in ’em to give a small bear early onset diabetes, but it was 97% fat free! Grizzly Chomps was a fat-free chocolate cupcake that had sprinkles on top of it, and every single one had a bite already taken out of it. My mother would’ve rather bought me crack than a Hostess cake (she was a middle-class Goopy Paltrow back then), but if she bought me Grizzly Chomps, my abuelita would’ve demanded she go back to the store and ask for a refund since that crap has already been eaten.

Grizzly Chomps’ mascot was a cartoon bear named Grizzly B who looked more like a fat cartoon wolf. Grizzly B dressed like Jeff Spicoli and talked like Rude Dog after Rude Dog smoked 20 packs of cigarettes in a row and gargled with shredded nails. Grizzly B was also an unapologetic asshole, because he admitted that he’s the one who took a bite out of all those cupcakes.

The tagline for Grizzly Chomps was, “I start ’em, you can finish ’em,” which sounds like the tagline for a tag team in a threesome. Grizzly Chomps didn’t last long and probably because stores stopped carrying it since they were sick of parents demanding a discount for not getting the whole damn cupcake (see: my abuelita’s predicted response).

Pic: Flickr

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >