I realize that during the Grammys earlier this year is that Beyonce, the queen of our time, placed a spell on all of us in the middle of her Offering to the Goddess performance when she gazed into the camera like “Love Me..Join Tidal… I COMMAND YOU!!” But that shit don’t work on me, because I don’t drink the damn lemonade. I prefer my ice to caress whiskey and honestly, I don’t even need the ice. So go hypnotize someone else, sistah!
Still, the spell worked on a few people (like Adele, who damn near somersaulted on stage to present Queen Bey with her Grammy on a bended knee). And director Jon Favreau is also ready to hand over stacks of cash for her to voice Nala in an upcoming live-action remake of The Lion King.
Variety reports that Jon, who is currently developing a sequel to 2016’s blockbuster hit The Jungle Book, is prepared to work on both projects at the same time, even though Beyonce has yet to confirm whether or not she’ll take the role since she’s still awaiting the birth of society’s upcoming trending topics Green Hearts and Yellow Clovers. But Jon doesn’t care! He and the studio are willing to work around her schedule if she’s interested, because the spell worked! Other actors slated to lend their voices to the project are my favorite blerd Donald Glover (as Simba) and the iconic James Earl Jones (as Mufasa, Mufasa, MUFASA)!!!
Part of me is like “meh,” because the one thing the Beyhive never discusses is how bad of an actress their Beyonce is. Come on, I know y’all saw Obsessed and Cadillac Records. The Lion King is one of the best things from my childhood and I can still watch it from start to finish to this day. I’m not too sure if I would feel comfortable hearing Beyonce’s raspy, come-fuck-me-now drawl coming out of Nala’s mouth without thinking to myself “I hope Simba doesn’t Monica Lewinsky all on her fur.”
More than likely, she’ll probably take the role because she’s a robot with no off switch. Perhaps they should build one onto the top of her head like Vicki the Robot from Small Wonder. Then again, that would be a bad idea. Especially when she’s in concert and sings Get Me Bodied. She may pat her weave and shut herself down. Then what would the world do????