Archives: March 2017
ScarJo Would Never Play A Person Of A Different Race, Thankyouverymuch
One hot millisecond after it was announced that non-Asian Scarlett Johansson was cast as Major Motoko Kusanagi in the live-action movie version of Ghost in the Shell, many were rightfully pissed that Hollywood had whitewashed yet another Asian character. When ScarJo was asked about the controversy earlier this year, she Crisco’d up her arm and dug deep into her ass to pull out an explanation. ScarJo could’ve kept it real and just said, “I LOVE MONAY!“, but she instead said she took the role in the name of feminism since Ghost in the Shell is a big action movie lead by a female protagonist.
The makers of Ghost in the Shell (including the director of the original anime adaptation) explained ScarJo’s casting the same way Tilda Swinton explained her casting in Doctor Strange. They said it’s not whitewashing since the character ain’t even human, let alone white. If anything, the robots should be protesting about a human taking one of their roles since ScarJo’s character is a cyborg. So basically, the Talking ScarJo Robot Doll got robbed.
ScarJo is doing the rounds to whore out Ghost in the Shell, and during an interview with Good Morning America, she echoed what the makers said.
James Van Der Beek Really Doesn’t Want To Talk About “Dawson’s Creek”
Are you a TV person who might one day find themselves in a one-on-one interview with The Beek from the Creek? If so, please pay attention, because this is very important. Unless you want to dump several minutes of awkward onto your viewers, don’t ask James Van Der Beek about Dawson’s Creek. And don’t begin the interview by comparing his career to his more successful co-stars. That’s what happened when James Van Der Beek appeared on ITVs This Morning (via BBC News) on Wednesday.
James was there to promote his appearance on the British sitcom Carters Get Rich, but the hosts Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby just wanted to know about Dawson’s Creek. Phillip and Holly started out their introduction by bragging about how Katie Holmes went on to marry Tom Cruise, Michelle Williams has four Oscar nominations, and Joshua Jackson is on The Affair. When they got to James Van Der Beek, it was crickets and shrugs.
James reminded them he’s been on lots of stuff since Dawson’s Creek premiered in 1997. It only got more uncomfortable from there. James really didn’t want to talk about Dawson. James kept it cool on the outside, but he was the crying Dawson meme on the inside.
That was like watching a scene from Magnolia II: More Depressing. I could almost hear Aimee Mann singing a slowed-down version of “I Don’t Wanna Wait” over a piano. And when James Van Der Beek finally snaps after being asked his 6,204,937th question about Dawson’s Creek, something tells me he’s going to mutter, “The beek from the creek the beek from the creek,” as the men in white coats haul him away.
Here’s James at BBC radio 2 in London on Wednesday.
Pics: Splash
Gavin Rossdale Is Dating A 27-Year-Old Model Now
There are two things that will never not be a reliable comfort in this world. Doritos will always be delicious, and aging rock stars will always get with a model half their age. According to The Sun, 51-year-old father of four Gavin Rossdale is dating 27-year-old German model Sophia Thomalla.
Fun facts about Sophia: she’s one year younger than Gavin’s daughter Daisy Lowe, her mother is the same age as Gavin, and based on her Instagram, she loves Justin Bieber. Dealbreaker! Although to be fair, Sophia would have been 20 when Baby was released….nope, that’s still too old to be into Bieber.
A source tells The Sun that it’s still early on in their relationship, but that Gavin is “really taken” by Sophia.
“There’s plenty of chemistry. They’re having fun and the relationship has the potential to turn serious if that continues.”
The source goes on to say that Sophia’s type is musicians. She married a guy in a Norwegian electronic band last March, a few weeks after ending a five-year relationship with the lead growler of Rammstein.
Gavin reportedly met Sophia while touring. But did he really meet her? Several months ago we were told Gavin had been on a date with Elin Nordegren. Gavin later clarified that he had never met her, only texted her a couple of times. So far there’s no evidence they met on Sophia’s social media, which is odd for such a committed groupie. Gavin, is this another Elin situation? I won’t believe this is a real relationship until I see a picture of Gavin posing with Sophia and a copy of that day’s newspaper.
Pic: Splash
Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Attack Pussy of Hamilton!
Being a mail carrier is hard. You gotta deal with the sun roasting your skin in the summer. You gotta deal with the Snow Miser’s breath turning your bones into icicles in the winter. You gotta deal with annoying people yelling at you because some shit they’re expecting hasn’t shown up. You gotta deal with smiling and waving at people who smile and say hi to you (that’s probably the worst). You gotta deal with the threat of dogs trying to Cujo your ass. And well, one mail carrier in Canada also has to deal with her soul temporarily jumping out of her body from the terrifying sight of the attack cat of Hamilton! That guard pussy could make Cujo hide under the bed and do the Sign of the Cross with his paw while praying to God to protect him.
Birthday Sluts
Al Gore (69)
Georg Listing (30)
Jessica Szohr (32)
Jack Antonoff (33)
Ashleigh Ball (34)
Melissa Ordway (34)
Kate Micucci (37)
Josh Saviano (41)
Ewan McGregor (46)
Samantha Brown (47)
Tony Cox (59)
Angus Young (62)
Rhea Perlman (69)
Valerie Curtin (72)
Gabe Kaplan (72)
Christopher Walken (74)
Richard Chamberlain (83)
Shirley Jones (83)
William Daniels (90)
Pic: atrl
Night Crumbs
Kiki Dunst and Charlize Theron posted together at CinemaCon and look like they’re the members of a cult of rich WASPs who worship Colonel Sanders – Lainey Gossip
Grab a rock and squeeze it. I’m sure blood will come out of it. Because Bella Hadid showed more than just one facial expression in a magazine, so obviously anything is possible now – The Nip Slip
Amy Schumer’s man once let her know that she gives a really thrilling morning beej – Celebitchy
Rita Ora’s chichis went on vacation – Drunken Stepfather
I give a “try again” to everyone but Sonja and Ramona – Reality Tea
Okay, but where are the pictures of Brooke Burke’s douche husband without his shirt? – The Superficial
Bella Thorne looks like a 90s faux rockabilly chick at outdoor school – Popoholic
Mischa Barton says she’s being emotionally blackmailed by the ex who secretly recorded them having sex – Just Jared
The cast of Buffy busted out poses for a spread in Entertainment Weekly – Hollywood Tuna
Well, I would rather see Wreck-It-Ralph’s bare and greased-up ass on the cover of Paper – Pajiba
This is cute until we find out that watermelon is poison for pugs! – OMG Blog
Shame on me for thinking that Grace and Frankie were holding weird-looking perfume bottles. I should know my sex toys – SOW
Panty Creamer of the Day: a wet and topless Ryan Phillippe posing for Men’s Fitness – Too Fab
KISS! KISS! KISS ON THE MOUTH! WITH TONGUE! – Popsugar
Pic: Getty