Hot Slut Of The Day!

Nina Bo’nina Brown (full name: Nina Bo’nina Banana Fofana Osama Bin Laden Brown) from the ninth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race!

RuPaul’s Drag Race was back to splattering glitter, sequins and dried-up wig glue bits into our eyes last night and it has officially moved to Vh1. This means that Logo is definitely not long for this world and the powers-that-be at Viacom have earned themselves a special place in the Ninth Circle for getting rid of a channel that plays Golden Girls reruns all the time. It also means that Drag Race is probably going to go full Vh1 soon, and we should all expect the queens to start scrappin’ and wig-pulling in the werk room and on the reunion show.

I walked away from last night’s episode the same way I walked away from a hook-up that started out hot, but was cut short because the dude got a call from the vet saying that his dog was on death’s door (true story). There was no LIP-SYNCH FOR YOUR LIFE! An episode of Drag Race without a lip-synch for your life is like sex without the cum shot. But I was still into it, and two surprising things happened to me during that episode: 1. I actually liked Lady Gaga’s critiques (and yes, I was sober…mostly). And 2. I already declared my hands-feet-nipples down favorite.

Nina Bo’nina Brown from Riverdale, GA had me as soon as she sashayed into the werk room looking like a Playboy Mouse Playmate of the Year who is Peg-Leg Pete’s trophy wife and whose got an ass that makes every Kardashian reach for the Fix-A-Flat:

To me, Nina’s drag is a perfect mixture of cosplay, glamour, piping hot sex and hallucinations you’d have if you dropped acid at a theme park.

For one of the challenges, the queens had to work an ensemble that best represented their hometown and Nina hit the runway while giving you “peach emoji going to the prom” (see: look above). She looked like a mascot from Fruit of the Loom’s new line of lace lingerie. She’s the real Princess Peach.

And for the challenge where the queens had to recreate one of Gaga’s past looks, Nina did herself up like a really confident overused tampon:

The season is still newborn-age young, but as of now, Nina Bo’nina Brown is the queen I’m completely rooting for. But that will change if the mystery 14th queen, who will join the competition in the next episode, turns out to be Ornacia!!!! Yeah, yeah, I already know that’s (possible spoiler alert) not going to happen, but let a bitch dream.

Pics: Logo, @Farrahrarized GIF via Towleroad