Pimp Mama Kris Says That Her Koven Has Upped Their Security To A “Crazy Level”

March 23, 2017 / Posted by:

If they really wanted to go crazy with their levels of security, they’d post that picture of Pimp Mama Kris at their front door. PMK’s gaze in that picture can turn almost anything to stone!

When Kim Kardashian returned to the U.S. after getting robbed at gunpoint in Paris, she had an army of security guards following her. Pimp Mama Kris tells UsWeekly that they’ve upped their security even more, and I guess that means that Kendall Jenner is keeping her opulent jewels in a place that’s more secure than a jewelry box, like in a pair of Rob Kartrashian-designed socks or under a pile of Tyga CDs. You know, places where no one wants to go.

PMK says that so many people “have tried to access our homes” and now they’re “protected to a crazy level.” PMK didn’t give UsWeekly examples of what a “crazy level” means, but anonymous sources did. Yeah, we’re really supposed to believe that halfway through her phone conversation with UsWeekly, PMK didn’t tell them that “anonymous sources” were going to tell the rest of the story before she switched the voice changer on her phone to “anonymous source” and went on.

Sources say that Kim made everyone who works for her take a lie-detector test, she uses decoy cars all the time and anyone who enters her and Kanye West’s fame whore lair has to get a TSA-like pat-down:

“Kim’s staff had to take polygraphs to see if anyone was involved in her robbery,” a source close to the 36-year-old mom of two reveals. “Everyone passed.”

Another special measure: Before entering the $11 million mansion Kim shares with husband Kanye West in L.A.’s Bel Air, “you get patted down by security,” says another pal. “It’s intense.”

Things are probably going to get a little awkward at Kim and Kanye’s lair if their security is on high alert for strangers. Security will probably tackle Kylie, PMK, Khloe, Caitlyn and all of the other shape-shifting whores to the ground after failing to recognize them because they changed their face yet again.

And here’s pictures from a Lakers v. Cavaliers game on Sunday night of Khlozilla, PMK and The Slow One, who wore some bootleg Catwoman pants and cheap off-brand Shauna Sand Lucite heels.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

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