Night Crumbs
Elizabeth Olsen hit the pap stroll with her new dude, an indie musician named Robbie Arnett, and I can practically hear her conversation with her older-man-loving sisters about her current boyfriend. “Ewww, Lizzie, darling, we don’t get it, how can you put your mouth on balls that don’t have white hairs sprouting out of them?” – Celebitchy
Panty Creamer of the Day: Charlie Hunnam in sweatpants – Lainey Gossip
Bella Hadid’s nipples are still on vacation from her vacation of a life – Drunken Stepfather
Today, please direct your sympathy toward Kim Zocliak, whose Nutri-Grain bars were squeezed by airport security in Germany – Reality Tea
Elizabeth Olsen ain’t the only one whose getting on a hot musician nobody knows. Kate Hudson is apparently humping on musician Danny Fujikawa – The Nip Slip
And the RUnaissance continues, J.J. Abrams’ production company is doing a TV show about the rise of RuPaul in NYC in the 1980s – Towleroad
Ariel Winter is giving me “recurring cast member on Mob Wives” – Hollywood Tuna
I guess the money situation on Big Bang Theory got worked out – SOW
Either I’m going wonk-eyed (it’s possible) or the arches in Olivia Wilde’s eyebrow situation need to be synchronized – Popoholic
If while watching the 20th cycle of America’s Next Top Model in 2013, you thought to yourself, “I really want to see Marvin’s peen,” your wish came true over three years later – (NSFW) OMG Blog
Ellen DeGenres is a lightweight – IDLYITW
Poke at me when a major character in a big-budget superhero movie has full-on, genitals-to-genitals gay or lesbian sex – Jezebel
The internet has blue balls now, because Orlando Bloom went paddle boarding with his shorts ON – Popsugar
Prepare yourself for a chorus of dancing Glen Cocos, because Mean Girls the Musical is finally coming – Just Jared
Pic: GC Images/Getty