Selena Gomez Can’t Wait To Be Not-Famous

Selena Gomez landed her very first American Vogue cover and she looks like a pin-up model trying to make the best out of a busted hair dryer situation. Anna Wintour might have looked at that cover and thought, “Eh, it’s fine. We’ll do something more glamorous next time” before stamping approved. But there might not be a next time. At least if Selena Gomez had her way.

Selena is the executive producer on the Netflix show 13 Reasons Why, which premieres later this month. But she didn’t really talk that much about it. Just like the cover line says, Selena got real with Vogue. One of the things she got real about was fame, specifically, how she’s over it.

Back in December, Selena Gomez became the most-followed person on Instagram (she currently has 113 million followers). That kind of internet popularity didn’t jack off her ego like it might have done to some other famous people.

“As soon as I became the most followed person on Instagram, I sort of freaked out. It had become so consuming to me. It’s what I woke up to and went to sleep to. I was an addict, and it felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see, like it was putting things in my head that I didn’t want to care about. I always end up feeling like shit when I look at Instagram. Which is why I’m kind of under the radar, ghosting it a bit.”

As it turns out, being internet popular isn’t the only part of being famous that Selena isn’t thrilled about. She can’t wait for the day when no one knows who she is anymore.

“Look, I love what I do, and I’m aware of how lucky I am, but – how can I say this without sounding weird? I just really can’t wait for people to forget about me.”

Selena also got real about ending her Revival Tour early last year to check into a treatment center in Tennessee. Just like the last time, Selena denied that her recent trip to rehab was to deal with an addiction or eating disorder.

“Tours are a really lonely place for me. My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough. At concerts I used to make the entire crowd raise up their pinkies and make a pinky promise never to allow anybody to make them feel that they weren’t good enough.

Suddenly I have kids smoking and drinking at my shows, people in their 20s, 30s, and I’m looking into their eyes, and I don’t know what to say. I couldn’t say, ‘Everybody, let’s pinky-promise that you’re beautiful!’ It doesn’t work that way, and I know it because I’m dealing with the same shit they’re dealing with.”

There are a bunch more pictures at Vogue of Selena looking like a bunch of vintage Barbies bought from an estate sale.

@SelenaGomez spent 90 days last summer in psychiatric treatment after dark feelings surfaced during her “Revival” tour. “DBT has completely changed my life,” she says. “I wish more people would talk about therapy. We girls, we’re taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who’s down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.” In her April cover story, Gomez speaks candidly about her path to mental wellness, social media fatigue, and the little things that make her happy (link in bio). Photographed by @mertalas and @macpiggott, styled by Camilla Nickerson.

A post shared by Vogue (@voguemagazine) on Mar 16, 2017 at 9:10am PDT

Whoever is advising Selena on how to avoid the spotlight might want to rethink their strategy. Posing on the cover of Vogue isn’t exactly the first step in being not recognized. Same with kissing on your new man in front of the paps at a popular restaurant. Or getting caught in the douche drama between your new man and your old one. The only plan that seems to be working is being noticeably absent from the last few squad gatherings at Taylor Swift’s house. Your face can’t be forgotten when you’re forced to show it in at least seven Instagram photo shoots a year.

Pic: Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott/Vogue