For almost two years, Katy Perry has been fighting with a group of nuns over the sale of a Los Feliz convent, the gist of which is that she really wants to buy it and the nuns really don’t want to sell it to her. There’s a chance the nuns are pulling out a big box of communion wine and having a real long bitch sesh with Jesus, because Katy is close to making the convent hers.
Here’s what has happened so far. Sisters Rita Callanan and Catherine Rose Holzman, two of the last five nuns who live at the Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, sold the convent to a restauranteur named Dana Hollister. The nuns never cleared the sale with the Los Angeles Archbishop Jose H Gomez, the person who actually gets to decide the sale. He wants to sell it to Katy. Katy took them to court a year ago, and a judge tore up Dana’s deed. That brings us to present day.
The Hollywood Reporter says that a judge ruled in favor of Katy on Tuesday. The judge found that Sister Rita and Sister Catherine didn’t have the authority to sell the convent. Even if they did have the authority, the judge states that they failed to properly document the deal documents. Katy now needs to get the final ok from the Vatican. Once she gets that, the convent is hers.
I used to think that when Sister Rita and Sister Catherine looked at Katy Perry, they saw her in a set of red devil horns laughing and rubbing her hands together. As it turns out, they see her in a black pointy hat while sitting on a broom. During one of their hearings about the convent sale, The Daily Mail says that the nuns accused Katy of witchcraft.
After doing a little internet digging, Sisters Rita and Catherine stumbled upon a witch-themed trip Katy took to Salem, Massachusetts. They accused her of being into witchcraft, which they assume is the only reason why someone would go to Salem. Even though there are pictures of Katy doing witchery in Salem, she allegedly played dumb to the nuns, saying that she didn’t remember that. Katy added that she’s not into witchcraft or people who are into witchcraft.
As for getting the Vatican’s blessing on the sale, the nuns are doubtful that will happen. They also claim they have a lawyer at the Vatican, so this could get dragged out even longer.
The term “over my dead body” was made for Sisters Rita and Catherine. They’re both going to fight against that black magic sorceress long after they leave this earth. They’re going to get up to Heaven and immediately put in a request for a temporary transfer from the Bride of Christ department to the Ghost Sector. “Yeah listen, I’ll be back to do the bride stuff a little later. I’ve got a couple decades of haunting at a Los Feliz home I need to do first.”