It really is the era of multiples! (I’m talking about babies and sadly not talking about the return of Sandra Garratt’s Multiples clothing line.) Pharrell Williams’ wife had triplets, Madonna adopted twins, Beyonce and Amal Clooney are both having twins, and now The Sun is saying that a leased baby oven is carrying Cristiano Ronaldo’s twin boys. Congratulations to the makers of the ab roller for newborns, tanning oil for babies and brow waxing kits for kids, because they are about to get two more loyal clients.
32-year-old Crispy is already a single dad to a son named Cristiano Jr., who was born via a San Diego surrogate in 2010. The always-right The Sun says that Crispy also used an American surrogate to bake his twin babies. The twins are both boys and will be born any day now. They’ll move into Crispy’s tasteful Mansion of Mirrors in Madrid. Crispy’s mom, Mama Crispy (aka Dolores), currently takes care of Crispy’s son while he plays with balls for a living and cooks his freshly waxed rotisserie chicken skin some (see: above). As those gay rumors tingled, a source said this about Crispy’s twins:
“Cristiano and his family can’t wait to meet the new members of their clan. He likes to keep a tight lid on his private life but has told loved ones and close friends the baby boys are due to arrive very soon. He feels the time is right for his boy to have brothers to grow up with. His mum Dolores will be there to lend a helping hand like she has been with little Cristiano.”
Meanwhile, Blue Ivy Carter has sent Crispy Jr. a note of sympathy since like her, he’s going to have to share his inheritance with two others now. Woe is Crispy Jr.
I could write 300 words on what Crispy will name his twin boys, but please, there’s two things that are certain about those babies: 1. They’ll both have a set of orange biscuit abs by the time they’re 6 months old. And 2. Crispy is going to name his kids Cristiano Ronaldo II and Cristiano Ronaldo III. George Foreman’s impact!
Here’s Daddy Crispy and his current piece, Georgina Rodriguez (she’s the one in those wookie pube Gucci slippers), at the launch of CR7 Crunch Fitness in Madrid today.