28-year-old Colton Haynes, who came out out last year, has been dating 46-year-old floral artiste Jeff Leatham for a total of three seconds. Or maybe it’s been two or three months. I haven’t totally kept track of the goings on of Colton Haynes’ newly-ish out peen. Colton and Jeff haven’t been together that long, but I guess they’ve already been struck with stage 10 dickmatization and their hearts can’t stop barfing out love for each other, because they got engaged. And Colton’s flower daddy did it up. Jeff proposed to Colton with help from flowers, candles, an opulent Mexican resort, a fireworks show and CHER! The only way Jeff’s proposal could’ve been more glamorously gay is if a hologram Liberace serenaded them on a tiny gold piano while sliding down a rainbow as a bevy of swans in gold crowns presented Colton with his engagement ring.
Colton’s rep tells People that he and Jeff were on vacation at the Las Ventanas al Paraiso in Cabo. On Saturday night, Flower Daddy Jeff busted out layers upon layers of theater and drama to propose to his man. Jeff started by taking Colton down a candlelit pathway that led to a heart made out of rose petals and from there, they walked out to the beach where more candles and a giant screen was set up. The giant screen played a video with messages from their family and famous friends, including Serena Williams, Melanie Griffith and CHER, who sang about 1 second of I Got You Babe.
You know that extra couple who is always blowing kisses at each other on Facebook and posts shit like a picture of a salad with the caption, “My love made me a salad, thank you, baby, I love you”? Colton and Jeff are like that on roids. They’ve shared many pictures from their vacation and engagement including the message from CHER!!!
Colton said yes, but since I am a heartless monster whose got ice cold bitterness running through his veins, I wish he would’ve said NO! I wish he would’ve been like, “Errr, you only got Cher to sing a few seconds? Try again when you get her to sing the whole song.”
After Colton said yes, he and Jeff danced and kissed to a fireworks show set to Bruno Mars‘ “Marry You.” And Colton later showed off his eternity band engagement ring during a FaceTime call with his best friend, actress Ally Maki, who posted a screen shot of their conversation on Instagram:
MY BEST FRIEND IS ENGAGED!!! This will forever be the best FaceTime call of my life. Overjoyed with love and emotion for my soul mate baby and ride or die on the happiest day of his life. Colt this is the moment!! Over a decades worth of our sleepovers and made up songs, all night wine sessions talking about love and Adele singalongs all leading up to this very moment. I'm so happy for you my angel. So happy that you found someone who completes you and fills your heart in a way no one else can. Jeff you are family to us now but have been from the start. Thank you for showing him what true love feels like and proving that it exists. You have truly changed his life! So excited to see the journey of where your amazing bond of love takes you both. Love you both so very much!!! P.S. Now let's make sure these bridesmaid dresses are fresh off the runway couture one of a kinds… and in the jaw dropping flattering color of diamonds okayyy thanks!! 👰🏻💍💍💍 @coltonlhaynes @jeffleatham @travisatreo
Even Mariah Carey is saying, “Okay, you two, this is all a little too much.”
That proposal ceremony probably cost more than most people’s weddings. If the proposal was that extravagant, imagine the wedding? Okay, I just imagined the wedding and now rhinestone-embedded rose petals and silver-dipped dove feathers are falling out of my ear holes and mouth.
Congratulations to Colton and Jeff! And if you like flowers, you better start hoarding some now, because these two are going to use the entire planet’s supply for their wedding.