Lindsay Lohan Is Apparently Launching A Line Of Headscarves

March 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Consider, if you will, a fallen ginger acting angel. The fallen ginger acting angel devolves into an attention-seeking global citizen/yacht girl. Then imagine the attention-seeking global-citizen/yacht girl transitioning into an attention-seeking foreign agent/supposed global savior. Now imagine that attention-seeking foreign agent/supposed global savior (who was raised Irish-Catholic and hails from Long Island) possibly converting to Islam! That move would be the ULTIMATE in sad attention acquisition! Hence, Lindsay Lohan throwing the above image up on her Instagram and hinting that she’s on her way to Mecca via a new fashion line. I’m sure Allah just met with his PR apparatus to collaborate on a public response which will boil down to “no, thank you.”

People reports that Lindsay vomited this all up on Friday, with the caption reading “New Fashion Line coming soon …. 😘 #fashion.” Some of her followers took the hijab-covered bait.

In the comments, many of her followers speculated that she was wearing a hijab, along with hundreds of fans posting “Mashallah,” an Arabic phrase which translates to “God has willed.” The photo continues to fuel rumors that Lohan, who recently claimed to have been racially profiled for wearing a headscarf in public, might have converted to Islam.

Not to speak for God, but it’s a sure bet that she had nothing to do with this shit. Yes, Lindsay recently claimed that she was racially profiled for wearing a headscarf at an airport, and the planet itself cringed in embarrassment. It appears that the supposed incident was but prologue to her next exciting business adventure – fashion headscarves! Lindsay has dabbled a freckled toe in the rags trade before. Remember when she was selling t-shirts celebrating her made-up bullshit accent? She also had a line of leggings back in the day that were probably designed specifically for young ladies to overdose in at nightclubs. That didn’t last, so why not go into religious garb? It seems Adderall can be super-inspiring at 3 AM.

Lindsay will probably abandon this idea when she realizes that, if she’s really looking to clothe the fashionable Muslim woman, the bikinis will probably have to be full-body. There is no way in hell Lindsay’s going to be covering her business up like that. Which should make the Islamic population breathe a sigh of relief. They have to deal with enough bullshit without throwing Lindsay on the pile.

Pic: Instagram

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