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March 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Urban Outfitters’ Extreme Crop Top Shrug!

Urban Outfitters, the emporium of overpriced faux hipster shit, truly redefined casual elegance when they offered up this simple and classic shrug-thing, that’s basically a Fruit of the Loom tank top from Target that has been cut to the straps. Urban Outfitters called it the “Out From Under Extreme Crop Tank Top Shrug” and said that you can use it to layer the “ultra-sexy way.”

If you’ve been looking for the perfect thing to wear to church in the summer and finally found it in that stunning tank shrug, put your money away. Because sadly, this piece of elegant perfection is now gone from Urban Outfitters’ site and probably because every refined lady who wants to look demure and sophisticated, yet not too fancy, snapped up several. I am sure that a large box from Urban Outfitters was recently delivered to Duchess Kate’s doorstep and I am more than sure that box was filled with dozens of Extreme Crop Top Shrugs. Duchess Kate should give one to THE QUEEN, but she won’t, because she knows THE QUEEN would work it better.

Before Urban Outfitters got rid of it (because it sold out, obviously), Alanna Okun, an editor at Racked, let the world know that it existed, and she’s obviously a major, major fan of it.

My only complaint has to do with Urban Outfitters’ styling. I mean, you can see the model’s black bra under that white tank! Tacky!

But really, we, the people, have been waiting for the new version of the dickey and Urban Outfitters finally gave it us. The Extreme Crop Tank Top Shrug is also the perfect thing to wear to an event when the dress code states that you must wear straps, but yet you want your nipples and chichis to be free.

Pic: Urban Outfitters

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