“Bitch, that’s the theme of my day every day, all day.” – every parent
Children acting a wreck is something that happens every millisecond in this world (and usually the messiness comes from mega brats Justin Bieber or Donald Trump), but today I’m bringing you two cases (and a bonus) of kids fucking shit up. One incident of a kid going wild happened in front of THE QUEEN and another went down during a super serious interview about the impeachment of South Korea’s president. And in all cases, I’m siding 100% with the kid.
People says that yesterday, THE QUEEN was at the unveiling of a memorial dedicated to British citizens who have served their country in Afghanistan, the Gulf and Iraq. 2-year-old Alfie Lunn was there with his mother, Corporal Michele Lunn, and his father, Sergeant Mark Lunn. His job was to hand THE QUEEN a thing of flowers. Alfie Lunn had one job and he failed at it by wiggling and twisting around. As Alfie Lunn BLATANTLY SHAMED!!! his family and his country while in the presence of royalty, his mother put on one of those smiles. We all know that smile. It’s the smile your mom would put on when you’d throw a tantrum in public and she’d keep it on until you got to the car where she’d tell you off.
THE QUEEN also sat there with a smile. Since she’s old school, I’m guessing she smiled to keep from reaching into her best friend (read: her pocketbook) to pull out a chancleta. But Alfie eventually got it together and completed his mission.
I am with Alfie Lunn completely. Nobody, let alone a 2-year-old, wants to be standing all stiff in a suit! But sadly, Alfie Lunn will probably be jailed by order of the future King of England, Prince George. Prince George probably owns the copyright for disobeying orders in public in Britain. Get your own act, Alfie!
And in South Korea, Robert E. Kelly, a political-science professor at Pusan National University, was doing a very serious Skype interview from his home office with the BBC. Robert was on to talk about the presidential impeachment scandal in South Korea. What was a regular boring interview quickly turned into the greatest interview of 2017 when a bright shining star in a yellow sweater heigh-ho’d on in and brought the moves and entertainment! The Benny Hill theme song should’ve played as soon as she made her entrance, because following her was a baby on wheels, and following the baby was their frazzled mom who busted in Kramer-style to yank ’em out of there. As that foolery went down, Professor Robert stayed sitting and I’m guessing because he was wearing sweat shorts on the bottom.
The BBC needs to send that little girl a check. She gave them the television moment of the week, if not month, and she also showed us that every serious news report needs a little dance break. It would definitely make the world a better place.
And now for a bonus clip from WLBT in Mississippi. On Saturday, meteorologist Patrick Ellis was doing the weather when a boy named Houston, the 8-year-old son of a lawyer doing a segment on the station, crashed his report. Houston is one to watch, because he’s got a bright future in weather reporting in front of him. Houston predicted strong winds in the area when he fake farted on Patrick before saying, “There are farts everywhere and toots.”
What I’ve learned here is that kids are just like me! A suit-wearing Alfie Lunn is a drunk me at a wedding. The star in a yellow sweater is me coming back into the office after a three-martini lunch and messing with my co-worker (my dog). And Houston is me, well, at all times.
This is the perfect post to lead us into the weekend. TGIF, everyone! Make like these kids, and fuck shit up!
Pics: AP, Splash