If you read the “trades” like Hollywood Reporter or Variety or whatever, and are wondering why all of the Oscar bait movies that were supposed to come out this year have all pushed their release dates to 2018*, you’ve now got your answer. Dame Joan Collins has a new movie coming out this year, so obviously everybody’s running scared, because they know that she’s going to get every Oscar and they can never compete with her! Hollywood has done something smart for once.
Dame Joan and Pauline Collins (no relation) did a road trip movie together, and sadly it’s not a reboot of Thelma & Louise. Dame Joan would make a perfect Louise. She wouldn’t need a gun to blow up a fuel tanker. She would just need to throw a cutting side-eye at it. But anyway, Dame Joan and Pauline star in a movie called The Time Of Their Lives and the London premiere was tonight.
Shortly after that picture above of Dame Joan killing the wig and bolero game at the same time was taken, that car revved up, its headlights exploded and a milky white liquid leaked out of its tailpipe. The organizers of the premiere were a little surprised since they took the engine out of that car earlier, but they shrugged it off since they know the effect that sex goddess Joan Collins has on men, women and inanimate objects!
* This is 100% True News!