Last month when Kristen Stewart officially came out as a gayelle on Saturday Night Live, her hair was very “Hollywood power lesbian.” Well, sometime before the L.A. premiere of that arty ghost texting movie, Personal Shopper, she Legend of Billie Jean’d herself by taking clippers to her hair and also Clorox’ing that bitch. Kristen Stewart gave herself a buzzcut for either that underwater movie she’s doing, or because she wanted to, or because she couldn’t handle the mutant lice anymore and tried to shave them out of her life. (SPOILER ALERT: That doesn’t work.)
Many are saying that Kristen Stewart is giving them Dollar Tree Annie Lennox vibes. And sure, KStew does look like a grouchy Annie Lennox impersonator who has a record low rating on Yelp because she screams at party guests who asks for a selfie and really just wants to smoke a joint in the corner. But I’m also getting fetus-aged Justin Bieber mixed with the greatest fitness queen of the 90s Susan Powter!
KStew seems to really be feeling it, because usually when she’s in front of a camera, she looks about as happy as Howie Mandel at a bareback scat orgy. But her face actually produced a smile or two last night. The power of a Susan Powter makeover knows no bounds! And I think KStew was feeling her new look so much that she forgot to put on clothes over that weird shapewear shit she’s wearing.