Tom Hiddleston is doing the rounds to promote the Khloe Kardashian origin movie, Kong: Skull Island, and since he spilled his feelings about the Taylor Swift shit in a hilarious interview with GQ, he has been asked about her. At one point it seemed like Tom Hiddleston’s official job title was “Taylor Swift’s PR Stunt Partner,” but now one of the thirstiest hos on the stroll wants everyone to respect the “privacy please” sign that is hanging on his door.
Both The Telegraph and Savannah Guthrie of Today asked Tom about Taylor, and he said that his private life is private. The paparazzi must be so confused now. If they should ever receive an “anonymous tip” saying that Tom Hiddleston is currently burning his “I Heart T.S.” tank top in a bonfire outside of Taylor’s Rhode Island mansion, do they show up or is Tom’s publicist just cock teasing them?
Savannah brought up Tom’s GQ interview and asked him what it was like to go through a really public relationship. Tom uncomfortably giggled before putting a line in the sand by saying that his work is public, but his private life is not. If I was Savannah, I would’ve hit a trick back with, “Err, that ‘relationship’ and all those photo-ops looked like work to me, so don’t sass me, Hiddles.”
“What should I regret, in your mind?” he shoots back, testily. Then: “I would rather not talk about this if that’s alright.”
Then a long pause, with his hand on his chin. “I’m just thinking about this,” he says after a pause. Then: “Everyone is entitled to a private life. I love what I do and I dedicate myself with absolute commitment to making great art and great entertainment and in my mind I don’t conflict the two. My work is in the public sphere and I have a private life. And those two things are separate.”
I don’t blame Tom for wanting to forget that ridiculous moment in his life, but if he wants people to stop bringing it up, he’s going about it the wrong way. Every time someone brings it up, he should explode into a wave of tears and keep crying until they change the subject. Nobody will ever bring it up again, because they really don’t want to deal with a crying grown-up. And Tom bursting into tears would make sense. I mean, I’d constantly cry too if there was photograph proof that I once wore an “I Heart T.S.” tank top out in public.
But now that he’s gotten testy with a reporter who asked him about Taylor, everyone is going to bring her up when around him. And I mean everyone, not just reporters. When he goes to buy something, the cashier is going to look at his credit card and say, “Tom Hiddleston? I thought your name was Taylor Swift’s Ex? I’m going to need to see some ID.” When he’s sitting in his doctor’s office waiting to be seen, the nurse is going to come out and say, “Taylor Swift’s Ex, the doctor will see you now.” And when he leaves this earth and goes to the afterworld, he’ll find the angels wearing “I Heart T.S.” tank tops and the sign above the gates of heaven will read: Welcome, Taylor Swift’s Ex!
And here’s Taylor Swift’s Ex (official name) working the stroll in NYC yesterday: