Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 7, 2017 / Posted by:

IHOP’s elusive boysenberry syrup! 

Why is anybody in America at work today? It is National Pancake Day AND National Cereal Day. Along with bacon, booze and anything fried, pancake and cereal are part of America’s 5 basic food groups (Don’t Google, it’s true!). So everyone should be spending our day worshiping pancakes and cereal by stuffing our mouths with cereal-stuffed pancake taquitos, pancake and cereal sandwiches, etc.. And when our jaws get tired, we should roll up a pancake and use it as a straw to snort crushed cereal, and when our noses get raw, we should mainline pancake batter. And yes, I’m typing this while one of my veins is attached to an IV drip full of uncooked Bisquick.

To celebrate National Pancake Day, today’s HSOTD is the elusive chanteuse of IHOP syrups: boysenberry!

There was a time when boysenberry syrup had a permanent place on tables at IHOP, but sometime within the last 10 years, or so, bitch lost its place. Just call it Farrah Franklin, because it was kicked out of the group. IHOP corporate apparently decided to leave the syrup flavor choices up to each restaurant. And most IHOPs obviously hate boysenberry syrup devotees because they don’t carry it. There’s a Facebook paged called Bring Back Boysenberry, and they’ve got a map of some of the extra special IHOPs that still carry boysenberry syrup.

When I was a kid, I’d always reach for the boysenberry syrup, because it was usually the least popular one and I was a rebel like that. Everyone would go for either original, blueberry or that disgusting pecan shit. Sometimes I’d even really go hardcore badass by mixing all the syrups together. I haven’t seen boysenberry syrup at an IHOP in a long, long time and figured that IHOP committed the sinful act of killing it completely. But now that I know it still exists in some IHOPs, the rebel in me has really come out. The next time I go to an IHOP, I’m going to whisper to the server, “I know you’ve got some boysenberry syrup stashed in the back. I’ll meet you in the alley next to the dumpster. I brought cash.

Pic: @asiarayfreak

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