Ed Sheeran did an interview with Rolling Stone to pimp out his new album, Divide, and of course, Taylor Swift’s name dropped out of his mouth during it. If Ed doesn’t dribble out her name during an interview, he will disintegrate into a pile of dust. The sole reason for Ed Sheeran’s existence is to name drop Taylor Swift in interviews! Not only did Ed Sheeran drop Tay Tay’s name for the 4,098,765th time, but he also said that some of her squad members have gotten a taste of his ginger hobbit dick. Don’t worry, squad members who have fucked Ed, he didn’t name names. I’m sure the ginger John Mayer is saving that for the promo tour for his next album.
Ed was drunk during his interview with Rolling Stone and bragged about boning Taylor’s friends when he went on tour with her in 2013.
“Taylor’s world is celebrity,” says Sheeran. “I was this 22-year-old awkward British kid going on tour with the biggest artist in America, who has all these famous mates. It was very easy. … I would often find myself in situations just kind of waking up and looking over and being like, ‘How the fuck did that happen?’ ”
“How the fuck did that happen?” is probably something the chicks said too. They got beer goggles drunk after the show and thought they were going to bed with that goddess Rojo Caliente, but then woke up next to Taylor’s creepy ginger friend who is alway sniffing her hair and drools whenever she looks at him.
As for which Squad members got a piece of Ed’s elfin rod, he was seen leaving Selena Gomez’s house once. There was also a rumor that he got with Ellie Goulding, but she denied ever being in a “relationship” with him. What’s surprising is that Ed hasn’t dropped hints about his past pieces in songs like his personal Jesus, Taylor Swift, does. Maybe his new album will have songs titled, “Lena On Me” and “Horny Am I, Man.”
Once Ed was done with letting everyone he’s done Taylor Swift’s friends, he went back to kissing every inch of her ass. Taylor told Rolling Stone that Ed is the “James Taylor” to her “Carole King,” and he kept the barf-inducing praise going by saying this about her:
“Taylor is kind of an anomaly in that sense.” He’s been annoyed at the backlash against her lately: “She’s omnipresent because she’s the most famous woman in the world, so she can’t make the decision to not be in the press. I always stick up for Taylor.”
When are we going to find out that one night, Taylor and her friends took a Chucky doll and used witchcraft to turn it into a famous English pop star who will lick her ass in every interview he does? Because I’m pretty sure that Taylor is Ed’s maker.
Here’s Taylor’s #1 fan at that iHeart crap two nights ago: