The live-action Beauty and the Beast (aka the upcoming movie that we at Dlisted have written about approximately 3,499 times) is finally coming out next week, and to further promote that mess (because it really needs more promoting), Disney has released the video for Ariana Grande Latte and John Legend’s karaoke version of the title song. You know, instead of clutching their bibles over something innocent and normal like a gay character, the crazy Christian conservatives should really be losing it over the strange dark-sided satanic ritual dance that happens in this video. If my feet didn’t catch on fire as soon as I stepped into a church, I’d run into one to dunk my head in holy water after seeing this scary video.
The video stars off with the anti-donut demon summoning fiery evilness out of a mirror while wearing what looks like a giant bloody shower puff. Ariana then walks into a ballroom and a chorus of over-used, raggedy maxi-pads dance around her and cover her. It’s supposed to look like a big rose, but instead, it looks like the humongous blood clot that falls out of your ear when you listen to a version of Beauty and the Beast that is not sung by Angela Lansbury, Celine Dion or Peabo Bryson.
Ariana joins John at the piano and as she mumble yodels, a human girl dances with the buffalo she’s trying to fuck. This shit is like a horror movie done by a film major who really wants to be the next Guillermo del Toro.
And the scariest part of that video is that Ariana isn’t wearing her hair up in her usual Charo-wannabe ponytail. I always thought that millions of evil spirits lived in Ariana’s ponytail, and now she’s set them free. We’re doomed.