In case your ears haven’t gobbled down at least one episode of Missing Richard Simmons, it’s a podcast where one of Richard Simmons’ friends and former customers, filmmaker Dan Taberski, tries to get to the bottom of what happened to the human lighting bolt in a golden dandelion ‘fro.
It’s been over three years since the sun frowned from Richard disappearing from public life and pretty much cutting off his friends. Richard has been living like me (aka never leaves the house and avoids other humans) and he and his rep have released statements saying that he’s got a busted knee and is just staying away from the spotlight for now. Richard’s legendary studio also closed up last year because it needed his presence to survive.
On the third episode of MRS, Dan talked to another one of Richard’s friends, Mauro Oliveira, who once again shared a theory that he shared last year. Mauro believes that Richard’s longtime housekeeper, Teresa Reveles, used her black magic bruja powers to control him. Richard’s rep shit on Mauro’s claims.
Last March, Mauro, who was trying to sell a book at the time, told the New York Daily News that one day in April 2014, he went over to Richard’s Hollywood Hills home. Richard invited Mauro over to tell him that they can no longer be friends. Mauro tried to talk to Richard, but Teresa ended up kicking him out of the house. Mauro said that Richard was so tormented at the time. Mauro said back then that he thinks Teresa cast a dark-sided spell on Richard. Mauro also believed that Teresa, Richard’s manager and his brother were all holding him hostage. After Mauro’s interview with the NYDN came out, Richard spoke to Savannah Guthrie of Today over the phone and said that he’s not being held hostage and he really just wants to stay home and do nothing.
Mauro repeated those claims on MRS, and Dan believes him. Well, Dan believes everything except for the bruja stuff. Richard’s rep, Tom Estey, gave People a statement today, saying that Mauro’s claims are a “load of crap” and that the living and breathing halo should be left alone.
“Teresa has been working with him for, since I’ve been working with him [27 years]. So, holding him hostage is the biggest, I mean … Teresa is the housekeeper, she’s the caretaker, she is extraordinary, she is amazing, she takes impeccable care of Richard and she has for as long as I have been working with Richard, so that is a complete load of crap.
Richard made a choice. To live a more private life. If he decides to come back, he’ll come back … People claim that it happened overnight. It really didn’t. We were turning down stuff for years and just kind of quieting down, and when he decides that he wants to come back, that’s when he’ll come back, and when that will be, I have no idea or if he will at all. There really isn’t anything to report.
We did not cooperate nor participate in this podcast because we didn’t feel the need to nor did we want to. All these things distract from his legacy and I will not allow that to happen because this man is a world treasure. He has helped millions of people lose millions of pounds. He has saved millions of lives, spent millions and millions of his own money helping and saving people’s lives. This man is a saint, so treat him like a saint and leave him alone.”
This podcast has left me torn like a bottom’s asshole after getting DP’d by two nine inchers. On one hand, it’s very well done and brings together two of my favorite things: Richard Simmons and intrigue. But on the other hand, maybe nothing sinister is going on with Richard Simmons and being a treasure for so long has exhausted him and he just wants to spend his days eating See’s candies while binge-watching the new One Day At A Time on Netflix. I mean, a smile didn’t leave Richard’s face for at least 30 years and that sounds tiring. I half-smiled at someone at the grocery store yesterday and it wiped me the fuck out.
On that note, I really hope that Missing Richard Simmons inspires someone to do a podcast called Missing La Pequeña.