Unless I write a post titled, “Lindsay Lohan Said Something Fucking Stupid,” then that will be the most unsurprising headline I’ve written all week.
Billboard published a 10 million word expose on Chris Brown titled, “Chris Brown’s Downward Spiral: Insiders Open Up About His Struggles With Addiction and Anger,” and the only right way to read it is to read it while shaking your head and saying, “Yup, that sounds about right.”
Billboard talked to Chris’ former employees and friends and they say that he medicates his bipolar II disorder with all kinds of shit you’re not supposed to medicate it with like coke, Molly and lean (aka that codeine and soda crap). They think that if he doesn’t get help, he may enter the 27 Club (“Err, membership is not open at this time.” – The 27 Club Admissions Department).
The sources say that Chris does not take the proper meds for his bipolar II disorder and has been hitting the bad shit instead for two years. Nearly every positive influence has jumped ship and now the only ones around him are gang members and bodyguards who he yells at. The bodyguards also take turns staying up at night so they can check on his pulse to make sure he’s still alive. Chris’ longtime manager Mike G quit after Fist Brown allegedly punched him out in a rage over his album Royalty not doing better than his other albums. His publicist also quit and Billboard’s sources say his tour manager headed for the exit after he threatened to beat her for telling his cousin not to smoke weed on her bus.
Chris Brown’s mom, Mom Breezy, also distanced herself from him, but they’ve gotten a little closer lately since she takes care of his daughter Royalty. As for his daughter, one source says that he’s a great “Instagram dad.” They also say that he’s spending money faster than he’s making it.
And Billboard also dropped a non-shock bomb when a source told them that Chris is obsessed with his ex Karrueche Tran, and regularly stalks her on Instagram. Karrueche recently got a restraining order against The Difficult Brown for allegedly doing a bunch of Difficult Brown-like things to her (read: beat her up and threatened to kill her).
Lately, says a former employee who was accustomed to scenes like this, Brown had trouble sleeping in his master bedroom upstairs and would instead watch sci-fi movies all through the night. Empty Styrofoam cups littered the table, a sign that Brown — who hadn’t been taking his medication for the bipolar II condition he had been diagnosed with in 2014 — had likely also been sipping lean (a mixture of promethazine/codeine syrup and a soft drink), his comedown of choice after a coke or Molly binge. Brown scrolled through Instagram, hunting for clues about the status of his ex, the 28-year-old model Karrueche Tran. Whom was she with last night, and where? Who was commenting on her most recent photos?
Billboard’s piece is also sprinkled with people kissing The Difficult Brown’s ass. His choreographer Flii Stylz said these words and he actually said them out loud and wasn’t joking:
“He’s a natural. He is almost God’s perfect person. No matter how he fucks up and no matter what he does, another replacement for him is not on the way in the next decade.”
Either Chris was holding a gun to Flii’s head or Flii has hung around Chris so much that he’s gotten seriously, seriously contact high and is hallucinating. But Flii won’t be hallucinating when a defamation lawsuit from God falls from the heavens and lands in his lap.