Open Post: Hosted By The New “DuckTales”

March 2, 2017 / Posted by:

Before production began on the new DuckTales, it looks like Huey, Dewey and Louie decided that they needed to update their look for the now, so they went to the plastic surgeon’s office and got the AngryBirds special. That’s why their heads are all squared and shit. They’re going to regret that trendy look, so expect to see them on an upcoming episode of Botched. And Disney really stabbed my childhood in the heart by sticking that doll of the original Webby to the wall in the corner.

It’s been¬†over 26 years since Disney stopped airing new episodes of DuckTales. Someone probably just knocked at your door after you read that. Oh, it’s just your family members coming to pack you a bag and check you into Shady Pines since we’re all old now. Just show them that you’re really old and grouchy by turning the sprinklers on them.

So anyway, DuckTales ran from 1987 to 1990 and a grand total of 100 episodes were made. A DuckTales movie also came out in 1990. In 2015, DisneyXD announced the return of DuckTales and now there’s a trailer for it. (Side note: Is there a DuckTales porn parody called FuckTales? Don’t make me Google.)

The new DuckTales, which premieres this summer, stars the voices of David Tennant (as Scrooge McDuck), Danny Pudi (as Huey), Ben Schwartz (as Dewey), Bobby Moynihan (as Louie), Kate Micucci (as Webby), Beck Bennett (as Launchpad McQuack), Toks Olagundoye (as Mrs. Beakley) and Tony Anselmo (as Donald Duck). Everything about this trailer from the kids sounding like adult CBS sitcom stars to the theme song’s “Oooooh ooooh” being off is wrong, but this wasn’t made for us old bitches.

But I do think that Disney thought of us olds a little. It doesn’t look like the best DuckTales character of all-time, Magica De Spell, is in this. So they saved us from the pain of seeing a 2017 version of Magica. Thank you for that, Disney. (Cut to them announcing that Magica will be in the later episodes and she will be voiced by Kim Kartrashian.)

Here’s pictures from Monday of David Tennant in London, making the same face I made after reading that DuckTales ended in 1990.

Pics: YouTube, Wenn.com

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