You know, this is funny, because several Shakespearean historians have said that The Bard’s original draft of Romeo & Juliet included a scene where Romeo bones Juliet as they wait for a pizza at Domino’s. Shakespeare cut the scene because he felt it was too romantic and therefore totally unbelievable!
Clear your mind of whatever you think romance is because THIS is true romance. You haven’t truly experienced romance until you’ve been bent over the counter at a Domino’s and stuffed with a 6-inch pepperoni log while waiting for a 12-inch stuffed crust pepperoni pizza. The two English blossoms who have made their country proud are 31-year-old Craig Smith and his 28-year-old girlfriend of three months Daniella Hirst. Craig and Daniella tell The Sun that they had been boozing it up while celebrating his birthday and afterward, they stopped in to a Domino’s in the English town of Scarborough. While waiting for their pizza, the aphrodisiac aromas of grease and cheese must have filled their nostrils and got them horny, because they went at it in a couple of ways.
Daniella blew Craig and then he hit it from the back. Their act of love in a Domino’s was caught on security cameras and an employee leaked it to the internet. They didn’t care, though, and said that they have fucked in all sorts of public places like the bus and an open field. But they did say that this is the first time their thrusting fuck parts have ended up on the internet. It’s not going to stop them, though, and you may find them doing it at a Pizza Hut near you!
“We woke up the next morning and our friends told us about the CCTV- we just laughed about it going viral. That’s just the type of thing that happens to us.
Everybody we know has had sex in risky places. It’s just one of them things that people do. Unfortunately for us it ended up on the internet. We’re open minded. We won’t do it in Domino’s again. Maybe Pizza Hut.
Honestly, they’re really loving the attention, because they even posed for an extremely romantic photo shoot outside of Domino’s. If they ever get married, they can use these beautiful photos as their wedding invitation.
How low can life get that u sell this story to the Sun and pose for pics feeding one another pepperoni pizza ? pic.twitter.com/l2EUDpDo0q
— charis (@chhharis) February 27, 2017
And now here’s the highly censored video. If Nicholas Sparks was inspired by BigSausagePizza.com and wrote a novel about it and that novel was turned into a movie, this is what it would look like:
The good thing about boning at a Domino’s is if the employee asks you if you need blue cheese for your wings, you can say, “Oh no, it’s okay, we just made some ourselves.”