Archives: March 2017

Night Crumbs

March 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Tall glass of Swedish leche Alexander Skarsgard and Alexa Chung are still together, but something doesn’t seem right. If you’re fucking ASkars full-time, you don’t walk around with a sour ass look on your face. You do naked cartwheels down the street while singing about how you’re fucking ASkars full-time. That’s a natural reaction! – Lainey Gossip

Even though her dog is panting, Katharine McPhee is the thirstiest one in that pic. And for John Mayer nonetheless! – Drunken Stepfather

Have a teen daughter and want her to hate herself and her body? Get her the new book by soulless workout troll Tracy AndersonCelebitchy

Yes, Christina Milian wore one of Kylie Jenner’s wigs last night, but the most question mark-inducing thing about her look is that chichi chain thing – The Superficial 

Blondie put out yet another new song, and would I drunkenly dance to it at a bar? Probably. Would I be asked to leave that bar because my dancing was scaring the other customers? Definitely. – Towleroad

The Shat is really into Dancing with the Stars, and is also really into hating on The BachelorReality Tea 

If Olivia Wilde’s character is pregnant with a basketball, then they nailed her look – Popoholic

Bella Thorne is still Bella Thorne-ing – Hollywood Tuna 

“Eating an anointed cake” sounds like another way to say that you ate an ass so sweet it made you see God – OMG Blog

I must’ve missed the teaser for the teaser for the trailer for Justice LeaguePajiba

The Candy Crush game show just got a million times worse and I didn’t think that was possible – Just Jared

Demi Lovato doesn’t care that a hacked picture of her tit cleavage is out there – IDLYITW

Memaws and Pepaws are going to party all night (read: until 9:58pm) tonight because CBS renewed a ton of shows – SOW

Panty Creamer of the Day: This hot piece from Iron FistPopsugar

Pic: Splash

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Dean McDermott Has Reached A Child Support Settlement With His Ex-Wife

March 23, 2017 / Posted by:

The embarrassing fight between Dean McDermott and his ex-wife Mary Jo Eustace over his unpaid child support is finally over. It didn’t end with Dean leaving a goodbye note to Tori Spelling on the kitchen counter (“Adios, mamacita!“) and running away to Tijuana to live as long as possible under an assumed name (El Ojos de Possum). E! News says that The Deaner has actually agreed to fork over the money he owes to Mary Jo.

Mary Jo agreed to withdraw her lawsuit against Dean earlier this month after he allegedly cried poor in court, claiming he had fallen on “hard times.” She won’t be re-filing any time soon. A source tells E! that Dean and Mary Jo recently came to an agreement outside of court. Dean reportedly owed Mary Jo $100,800 in unpaid child support, interest, and attorney’s fees, and he has agreed to pay her in installments until his debt is cleared. Dean cut Mary Jo a check for $6000 last Monday, and will send her another $2500 by the end of the month.

E! News says that Dean has until July 1, 2020 to pay it off. Sure, I totally see that happening. If Mary Jo wants to actually get paid, she’s got to threaten him with a penalty for missed payment. Like making sure every tattoo shop is mysteriously too busy to hook him up with any more dirt bag ink. You’ve got to hit him where it hurts. And we all know that’s not his bank account, since that lost feeling ages ago.

Pic: Instragram

So, I Guess Nia Long Isn’t Going To Be On “Empire” Ever Again

March 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Empire’s spring premiere episode aired last night, and earlier in the day, TMZ coincidentally burped up a story about how guest star Nia Long and Taraji P. Henson got along about as well as Terrence Howard gets along with an asshole that hasn’t been freshly touched by a baby wipe. Today, TMZ has burped up more details about Nia’s alleged rampage on the Empire set, and E! News has also joined in on the foolery with info of their own. This is giving me shades of Dynasty gossip, but I’m not sure who’s the Krystle and who’s the Alexis? What am I saying? Taraji is the Alexis, Dominique, Sable and Krystle. Nia is one of the party extras.

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Ryan Gosling Explains Why He Was Giggling During The Best Picture Screw-Up

March 23, 2017 / Posted by:

One of the internet’s favorite moments of this year’s Oscars came immediately after PricewaterhouseCooper’s Best Picture fuck up. When La La Land producer Jordan Horowitz triggered the world’s largest collective gasp by calling Moonlight as Best Picture, a serious-looking Ryan Gosling suddenly started giggling. It was like watching a stoned teenager react to an adult saying the words “joint checking account.” It made no sense, but it was fully enjoyable to watch.

People says that Ryan explained that moment during an appearance at the Adobe Summit in Las Vegas yesterday. Apparently Ryan started laughing because he was just so happy no one was leaving the stage on a stretcher.

“What really was happening as I was watching, it was surreal anyway, I was watching people start to have this panicked reaction in the crowd and guys were coming on with headsets and I felt like someone had been hurt. I thought there was some kind of medical situation, and I had this worst-case scenario playing out in my head. And then I just heard Moonlight won and I was so relieved that I started laughing.”

Ryan adds he was “thrilled” with the results, because he knows Moonlight’s director Barry Jenkins and loved the movie.

Really though, I’m surprised by Ryan. If he thought something was wrong, why didn’t he spring into action? I think we can all agree the worst-case situation would have been an on-stage heart attack. And that’s no problem for Ryan Gosling. All he has to do is approach the body and whisper “Hey girl or guy“, and the victim’s heart will immediately start beating again. Ryan Gosling is nature’s defibrillator.

Pic: Splash

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Open Post: Hosted By A Dog Who Could’ve Won It All

March 23, 2017 / Posted by:

One of last year’s Hot Slut of the Months was Ludivine, a dog who came in seventh place in a half-marathon without trying. Ludivine’s legacy has sort-of lived on thanks to an attention whore dog who crashed a World Cup cross-country skiing race in Quebec City on Sunday.

The Montreal Gazette says that during a three-man showdown at the end of the third lap, a dog we’ll call LookAtMoi McPlayWithMe ran next to the skiers and then in front of them before deciding that shit was boring and exiting the stage. That pooch was in the race for only a few seconds, but easily became the breakout star! Everyone loved the cameo appearance by an adorable race crasher, and I’m sure the skiers did too. Thinking that a dog might get in their way, causing them to fall and lose the whole race probably filled their hearts with the awwws. I’m not being sarcastic either. Anybody who has a heart that feels loves a dog crasher.

I’m mad at that dog, though. If the dog kept going, pooch would’ve easily won the race. Who cares if the dog didn’t do the whole race!? They would’ve had no choice but to give the dog first place, and then pooch would’ve eventually gone on to the Winter Olympics in South Korea next year and would’ve definitely won gold. I so wanted to see that dog get the gold medal in cross-country skiing. Thanks for crushing my dreams in seconds on National Puppy Day, short-attention-span-having dog.

Pic: @NBCOlympics

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John Mayer Admits That His Latest Song Is About Katy Perry

March 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Katy Perry said goodbye to John Mayer more than a year ago. Since then, John has been rumored to have tried to get with Demi Lovato, but nothing serious. Last month John Mayer released a song called Still Feel Like Your Man. As you can hear below, it sounds like the biggest hit from a royalty-free Maroon 5 knock-off called Burgundy 6. But that’s not what we’re focusing on here.

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